1991
(USA)
Contains
spoilers.
I'll put
my hands straight up. Director / writer James Cummins' 1991 zombie horror yarn
is delightful, dark, gory, intimidating and full of tension.
The zombies are macabre menacing little shits that make you feel uncomfortable
and the set-up that enables them to torment the small disparate group that find
themselves stuck in the same cramped isolated morgue is inspired and gripping.
It's zombie horror as good as you'd hope for and though maybe it could be
accused of being a little ham fisted and cheesy at times, this doesn't detract, in many ways adding to the retro charm. There is the issue of the last twenty
minutes though, and I'm still not quite sure exactly what I think of it, though I know I enjoyed myself. On
the one hand I've got to applaud Cummins for his audacity and insanity. On the
other, I've got to question the decision to turn sinister and brooding into
farce and stoopid in such an abrupt and in your face way.
There's a
good zombie story. Lt. Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his partner Gordon Mullen
(James Eustermann) recruit the reluctant psychic, Alley Oates (Deborah Rose) in help them solve what appears to be the grisly murder of three
children found in the cellar of mortician Chen (Robert Yun Ju Ahn). Under
questioning Chen tells a fantastical yarn that the children are actually
an undead master-race, called the kyoshi, and that he and his ancestors have
been protecting mankind by feeding them fresh human flesh keeping them dormant
for the last three hundred years. Dismissing the story Jersey, Mullen and Alley
head straight off, at night I'll add, to the boneyard (the colloquial name the
staff have given to the city morgue) to check the bodies out and see if Alley's
special gifts can unravel what's really going on. And wouldn't you just know it
Chen just happened to be telling the truth; cue reanimating dead, running,
screaming and dying.
Cummins'
does a remarkable job establishing a coherent and believable reason for the
small band of victims / survivors to find themselves in an inescapable
claustrophobic survival / slaughter-box combating the forces of evil. There's
no big gaping narrative hole or anyone acting in an overly stupid manner to get
themselves in the trouble, as the evil begins to rise one isn't distracted by thoughts of what they should have done.
Okay, there's not much sense to Dana (Denise Young) the young suicide who
happens to not actually be dead, but the motley assortment of morticians along
with the police and psychic make for some interesting dynamics as they seek to
stay alive.
Romero
zombies these are not. It's possession / reanimation / demons and ancient
curses, and the three gnarly putrid little kids are disturbing, quick, smart
and terrifying. They can climb, leap, hide and a headshot won't cut it. The
make-up and effects team have done a great job with them and whether
they're chasing, harrying or playing with their next meal or tucking into a
cannibalistic all you can eat spare-rib buffet the young gut munchers are
always the uncomfortable star of the show. Someone at some point comments that
their weakness is the heart, i.e. vampire, but as they're final deaths come
down chemical spills, electric blasts, concentrated bullet fire and being blown
sky high I can't confirm; there's also the point that if it's so easy why
didn't Chen or his grand-pappy stick a stake in years ago while they were
asleep. So maybe a bit vampire, maybe possessed, maybe a bit straightforward zombie, they're evil, they're dead, they're hungry and they're deeply unpleasant.
Okay
it's time to address the finale. With twenty minutes to go The Boneyard shifts
gear up from fourth to crazy and goes all Dead Alive (Brain Dead) - a year before it I'll add, Resident Evil and super-mutant with some of the most ridiculous prosthetic costumes and
animatronics I've seen. Whilst there was a hint things were at some point
going to go loopy, with Alley finding loose pipe bombs in the record office and
Mullen equipping some kind of experimental machine gun, I wasn't at all prepared for how
the kyoshi curse would manifest itself in those infected. Shortly before
wilting away into a large pool of green slime, one of the zombie children
manages to shove a large handful of its own brains / skin into the mouth of
Miss Poopinplatz (Phyllis Diller) the feisty, impudent morgue receptionist. At
first it's groans, fever and decidedly looking a bit peaky, but minutes later
it's eight foot prosthetic madness, large bulbous eyes and not only cackling
laughter from her, but raucous bellows from myself.
As said,
up till now it was tense survival horror and suddenly here was a large daft
boss fight and a wholly unrealistic model flailing its long arms at all and
sundry. I'm not sure whether there were doubts at whether the taut atmosphere would make the distance, whether there was suddenly a budget for more special
effects or whether it was all meticulously planned but the result is a change in
direction that takes your breath away. Also it's just the beginning as now
firmly down the rabbit hole Cummins has only one place to go, turning his
attention to Miss Poopinplatz's yappy little poodle and some scenes that will
never leave me.
My wife
commented once that she really doesn't like horror with children in and I can
understand her disquiet. The zombie kids are disturbing, wholly unnatural and
thus a brilliant construct, brutally realised. The survival horror
sequences are a delight; scenes are well-constructed, well-shot and believably
acted by people who bring authenticity to proceedings by not standing out. The action flows effortlessly from one scene to the next, everything
feels cohesive and the film is thoroughly absorbing. The crazy prosthetic super
mutant zombie climax is what it is. I can't say whether the film would have
been better or worse if it hadn't decided to take such a left turn, all I can
say is when it does it's a hoot. None of it makes any sense, the action is
audaciously stupid and inexplicable but it's god damn entertaining. A zombie horror riot both despite, and because, of twelve foot zombie poodles, 8/10.
Steven@WTD.
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