Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - review

2016 (UK / France / Germany / South Africa / Canada / Japan / Australia / USA)

2017 Sony Pictures Blu-ray R(Free)

Contains mild spoilers.

  

Well it's been a long ride for Alice (Milla Jovovich). Resuscitated with memory loss, attacked without mercy by the scourge of the undead and their corporate overlords, then over the decade hunted and beset by all the increasingly monstrous and depraved super mutants that director Paul W. S. Anderson could conceive. She's been shot, stabbed, sliced, diced and blown from the sky. She's been cloned, watched good friends die, learnt the dark secrets of her past and witnessed the world she knew torn a sunder. To say she's due a break is an understatement but with this instalment, it would appear Anderson might just be finally letting us, and her, enjoy some kind of rest to the madness.

Over the ten years and six chapters we've slowly but surely witnessed a profound cinematic transition to style over narrative, characters, or any real attempt at substance. It's as if someone gave control of the crazy dial to a young excitable boy and then kept ploughing him with coke long after he'd definitely had enough. From a gritty, claustrophobic and earnest debut, success turned into cash, then into budget, and finally unfettered approval to bring life to the most fantastical scenes and effects, and thus did story, congruence and any concerns for character arcs, in turn, fall to the way side. Part five was the epitome of action surplus; a cacophony of battles and over the top and never-ending lunacy that failed utterly to actually be engaging or rewarding precisely because of this deficit accrued. With The Final Chapter I'd argue that while the giddy young fella seems relieved from his sugar purgatory, this is for all intents and purposes the grand finale, and as such, why is there a want to temper things now. Whilst one can see a whisper of desire to return with Alice and the entourage to Racoon City, and to the intimacy and cinematic authenticity of where and when it all began, there's too much water under the bridge; too much superficial silliness to ever really think they could.

By now we understand that it's not the gold star action and cinematic wizardry that will let a Resident Evil film down but the downtime, the moments of peace between the double back flip, the Matrix style kung-fu, or the triple barrelled shot gun into the giant toothy flying mutant of doom (I think a Kipepeo). Yet I've seen The Final Chapter come in for a lot of criticism about how it's all been cut and spliced together. Ultimately I think it comes down to personal taste, as I didn't mind the frantic and chaotic shaky cam approach; in many ways recognising it as a nod to the perils and confusion of war. The fact that so much of it was shot in near darkness however, I did, especially as Anderson to his credit does manage to return the simple un-mutated zombie back to the forefront for a large swathe of the film, and it would have been nice if we could have really seen them in all their glory.

Another recurring problem I have by now, is Alice's invulnerability. I'm all for the epic hero, the Thor or Beowulf blessed by the Gods with incredible fortune as well as strength, but as all about her fall and as buildings tumble, one never get the feeling, not for one second, that's she's actually in any real danger. The problem with winning the no-win scenario, is how do you follow it but with an equally implausible one. It's the magicians conundrum. Day one it's escaping from a box, Day 100, it's escaping from a box suspended over the Grand Canyon, on fire with a rat in your underpants. Watching Alice, yet again dancing with the big Resident Evil brute +1, or the next CGI enhanced video game inspired super boss, there's nothing really new, never any real tension and no tangible threat. Yet again, dare I say, it's all a tad stale and insipid, and no, adding another rat or maybe a cat to the pants won't ever really fix the fundamental problem.

The Final Chapter isn't as bad Retribution but that would have been a hard thing to have accomplished. At least here there is a semblance of a narrative to make sense of the carnage, even it deviates on what we've been told before, and makes a mockery of all the heroes and villains that have come together to give her a final send-off, with what in effect are short meaningless cameos. Through in truth, if anyone is really watching Resident Evil for any semblance of a coherent narrative or intelligent by this point, they're way off the mark. With action this undeniably good I'd be hard pressed to say there isn't something of merit watching Milla's perfect death bringing choreography, or any of the big picture perfect explosions; and I did find some nostalgia in the final scenes despite them ending up an insulting mockery. So as I said, better than the last, but I had very low expectations - 4/10.

Steven@WTD.

The Sky Has Fallen - review

2009 (USA)

2015 Lost Forever Productions (Ultimate Edition) DVD R(0)

Contains spoilers. 

Sure, writer, director, producer, chief cook and bottle washer Doug Roos's passion project has its faults; I'd bet my bottom dollar Roos himself could easily provide a list of all things he'd want to improve or change, and sure there are better dark and brooding; for a frivolous zom-rom-com this is certainly not, zombie horrors out there, but I honestly challenge anyone to name me an independent no budget fully-fledged feature with as much character, attention to detail, originality and honesty. The Sky Has Fallen is testament that indie passion and vision, combined with stubbornness, tenacity and energy can produce something that easily holds itself up to far grander and more entitled efforts. At a time when the zombie movie scene is awash with cheap and lazy, that honourable and sincere little gems like this still make it through the quagmire gives genuine hope.

If you're one that believes a true post-apocalyptic landscape would be far from an introverted paradise and self-indulgent playground then The Sky Has Fallen could well be your wet-dream. Roos paints a world of misery, brutality and insufferable despondency. I'm a genuinely glass is half full kind of guy but faced with this alien / zombie nightmare, where the danger isn't just being bitten and going rogue but possibly facing an eternity of the most depraved Hellraiser torture; if you're lucky; I really don't think even I'd be able to muster any positivity or hope. Fortunately it's not down to me though, as Roos has Lance (Carey MacLaren) and Rachel (Laurel Kemper) two strong and driven characters who do seem up for challenging the status-quo and saving man-kind.

The Sky Has Fallen is a zombie film quite like no other. If I were to make connections I'd argue there's a European continental esoteric and ambiguous, yet deeply unsettling vibe akin to Fulci and his Gates of Hell trilogy. Then there's Barker's Hellraiser parallel; of paradigm-disrupting monsters visiting Earth for some gratuitous and sadistic fun and frolics. Then it's still all zombie and a western homage to the Japan's Versus with dozens if not hundreds of slow shuffling and insatiable dead falling to exacting and perfectly choreographed samurai sword-swinging and gun-toting precision. And if all this isn't enough it's a powerful character driven melodrama with forceful performances that resonate and move.

If an airborne pandemic with 100% effectiveness leading to the total downfall of mankind wasn't bad enough, it seems it was merely stage one. No sooner have the few immune survivors started to adjust to a new world alone without the love and support of friends, family or any form of coherent government or society their grieving is brought to an abrupt end by the arrival of real perpetrators; black cloaked, mandible wielding, mind controlling, zombie-fashioning sadistic little shits that seem to see humanity as nothing other than their next meal. And I mean to say this in the same way a cat views its dinner; for as much as our consumption is important, it would also appear sadism is an integral and important part of the process. Whether they're aliens, demons, transdimensional parasites, like their sinister, emotionless barbarism, not understanding or controlling the whys and wherefores all aids the brooding, deeply unsettling atmosphere. Again for a film with under such financial pressure, the handling and screen presence of these masters is fabulously realised, as are the zombies they create and control. And again as we'd expect much of the slicing and dicing is off camera and more intimated than realised, but Roos hasn't held back with some truly awful and appalling (in a good way) and highly effective make-up and close-ups that encapsulates his undoubted fetid and utterly depraved vision of hell on earth.

Ok, I did feel some of the moody and indulgent conversation and reflection did repeat itself and drag proceedings. I also felt whilst brilliantly realised and deliberately shocking, the film did somewhat lose its aesthetic soul with perhaps one too many perverse and gratuitous torture / murder scenes. It's ironic that the Ultimate edition I watched, with eight additional minutes of tinkering over the 2009 release might actually now itself be in need of edit. A fabulous passion project I'd far rather talk about for all it does right though, rather than its inevitable occasional stumble. The world needs visionaries that break moulds and its genuinely inspiring, against the hum drum and mediocre, that films such as The Sky Has Fallen are brought to fruition. A powerful and resonating film that captures the honest and meticulous vision of its own inventor and investor it's a film I can truly recommend, and fully deserving of all the indie plaudits it collected - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombie Killers Elephant's Graveyard - review

2015 (USA)

2015 Platform Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains mild spoilers. 

Let's talk apostrophes. We all get it wrong from time to time, especially when writing, and thought and creativity is more engaged, than say, any desire to satisfy the minutia. It's not Elephant's Graveyard; it's the whole romanticised idea that elephants would collectively travel to some mythical single location to gasp their final breath; there's more than one. It's a small thing I know, but this small lack of attention is quite indicative of director and co-writer Harrison Smith's low budget zombie effort. For as taken as I was with the refreshingly modern and airy look and feel, and enamoured with the highly emotive characters and their story, I couldn't quite shake off all the small niggles and warts that combined to spoil the party. 

So who are the zombie killers? Well, they refer to the rag tag assortment of young waifs and strays tasked with protecting the isolated and fenced town of Elwood. Led with ruthless utilitarian zeal, Elwood under the leadership of Doc (Brian Anthony Wilson), an ex-military medic, has survived the fervent zombie contamination that has taken hold of the planet. For six years, under the sub-command of Seiler (Billy Zane) these young adults have foraged, hunted and risked life and limb outside the safety of the compound to provide for the rather religious and insular group of lowlifes, who as we will discover, would be only too happy to thank them with a bullet to the back of the head should situation or occasion, like not keeping ones space tidy, demand.

For a world ravaged by a multi-species zombie contamination, where society has collapsed, resources are scant and general subsistence has regressed to something akin to the stone-age you'd think people would have better things to do than paint ball or spread malicious rumour because it goes against rather wonky religious ideals. Yet that's what Zombie Killers Elephant's Graveyard is primarily about. It's not a tense or shocking survival thriller but a highly emotive character driven soap-opera where the very real zombie threat plays second fiddle to odd politicking and strange, almost sociopathic adherence to a disjointed dictatorial ideology; and though, as I've stated, it was genuinely refreshing to engage with something with a different take on post-apocalyptic living, it just didn't come together.

I won't spoil the Elephants' Graveyard bit save to say for an ingenious twist on a well-known myth, it wasn't the worst idea I've seen, and certainly garnered some much needed zombie attention just when it needed it. It's a symbolically extreme and audacious idea and that's ok. Unfortunately it also marks the point the film starts to fall apart as if there's a sudden shift in narrative to one where anything goes, and coherence no longer matters. Rather than using it as a tool to pull the surrounding narrative together, this tsunami of madness acts as a catalyst for characters to acts out and the story to descend in to farce which was all a pity.

It's a parasitic, toxoplasmosis pandemic that's intimated to be of Proterozoic origin and has been thrown through time with fracking. In a candid and refreshingly glib post-zombie contemporary monologue which opens proceedings, we learn despite the best will of the uniting world, its swept mankind aside without mercy and this small band may well be all that's left. The some slow / some fast zombies are reasonably made up and realised, as would be expected in 2015 and though there's been an attempt to imbue them with fear, it all rather fails due to their rather comic spasmodic gait. As is now staple, it's the derivative bullet to the brain to stop them though as said, with their seemingly unlimited ammo and firepower it's not them one really needs to worry about. 

I can see what Smith was trying to do, and though the contemporary drama wasn't without charm the post-apocalyptic dystopia has fashioned characters that perhaps are just that too emotionally naïve and hyper-realised to feel plausible or congruous. There's an over simplification; a soap-opera immaturity and though Zane leads a cast who do adequately with what they have, all too often their characters behaviour comes across too extreme; either passive or otherwise, to believably carry the story they're central too. Sure I can understand someone contracting the virus, which Doc confirms with a blood sample, being evicted, and sure I can believe some bastardised reasoning, broken norms and twisted values and even eviction for seemingly minor indiscretions, but ruthless lieutenants more than happy to equate said eviction with totally detached murder is all a bit much. It's also all rather hampered by a convoluted soap-story which staggers in a rather derivative manner for an hour, only to spiral rather absurdly, in a way I'd more associate with The Asylum, to an unexpected, hectic and chin scratching finale, that again, doesn't do anyone any justice. So, certainly interesting, entertaining and reasonably well shot, this low budget zombie TV look and feel melodrama isn't nearly as bad as reviews would lead you to believe, but also doesn't particular deliver the cohesive, authentic post-apocalyptic character driven experience early signs hint of - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Resident Evil: Damnation - review

2012 (Japan)

2012 Sony Pictures Home Ent Blu-ray R(All)

Contains mild spoilers.

  

Right. Resident Evil: Damnation, the CGI follow up to 2008's animated snooze-fest Resident Evil: Degeneration, and not to be confused with the increasingly contrived and style over substance live action nonsense fused together by Paul W.S. Anderson and wife Milla Jovovich. And I wasn't optimistic. I'll be honest, I really struggled with Degeneration. I found it hard to digest, so utterly lacking in joy and life that it took me three sittings and a lot of caffeine to actually get through it at all. It's wasn't bad per se, with better than average animation and a competent, if utterly derivative story; it was just that the experience was akin to watching a long scripted and rather tedious video game being played out by someone else. Now, while that feeling hasn't been completely shaken off with this second outing, I'm pleased to report that things have significantly improved in all other areas.

It's another elaborate and overly complicated Resident Evil story with big corporations, corrupt politicians and nefarious overlords with questionable motives and methods; where everyday Joe's are quashed in the millions and the fate of mankind rests on the shoulders of the few or the one. This time we're in Eastern Europe, in the made up country of Eastern Slav Republic, the questionable baddy is President Svetlana Belikova (voiced by Wendee Lee), her motive is to seize the oil rich parts of the country controlled by the rebels, and her means is by playing with BOW's, Bio-Organic Weapons, of course. This is also where Leon S. Kennedy (Matthew Mercer), a t-virus specialist and  hard as f investigator and our hero, comes in.

What differentiates director Makoto Kamiya's second directorial Resident Evil offering is simply put, the quality of the story and the writing. There's no derivative zombie tale, no cobbled together series of scenes to show-case increasingly lavish effects, but a real desire to present something both coherent and cohesive, and to treat both viewer and source material with some respect. At the outset there's no clear good or bad; things aren't so binary and simplistic and Kamiya confidently captures the full ambiguity and confusion of a country caught up in civil war with both sides resorting to increasingly desperate and morally-dubious tactics to win. Thing's are also kept fresh and interesting because we're not subjected to half an hour of slow contrived suspense driven build up, but thrown straight in, and expected, after some six films and six plus video games to have half an idea of about zombies, the Plaga mutations, and everything else this crazy world is able to throw at us. 

Resident Evil: Damnation is as expected, full of action with lavish and outlandish CG fights, but also has perfectly spaced interludes. Kamiya truly has the pacing down, and he even manages to make the many heavily scripted and choreographed combat scenes, which in the past have so easily becomes chores to watch, feel inventive and on point. Even the long and excessive final boss encounter was broken up in such a way as to not out stay its welcome; in fact, that it was the last big fight was lost on me until it was actually over, and to say that's a departure from Degeneration is quite the under-statement. It's also worth mentioning that the CG is at times breathtaking realistic, and dare I say beautiful, with detailed textures and ridiculous attention to detail. There are times though that the illusion is lost; perhaps things are too perfect or contrived or there was less rendering or something technical, but over-all it's never a distraction.

Damnation is Capcom's Resident Evil and true to the video-games, not the live action films, and as such it always will have, and probably should have, a 'gamey' feel. Unlike Degeneration though, here it subtly guides aesthetic and narrative rather than consuming and dictating, and thus avoids that long laboured cut-scene feel. Also taking its cues from the games the zombies are really just the opening fodder to get you used to the game mechanics with the Lickers, Majini, and increasingly outlandish bio-engineered monstrosities, in this instance, several leather clad Tyrants, the real danger once things really kick off. For a good hour though these snarling, gnarly, fast-moving gut-munchers still pose quite the threat, and there's plenty of good old fashioned gratuitous zombie head popping on offer.

Easily the best Resident Evil film, for what, some eight or nine years since Russell Mulcahy's Extinction, Resident Evil: Damnation excels in all the areas the franchise has struggled with ever since. An interesting, complex and complete story, with multi-faceted motives and authentic characters and relationships, there's also an attempt at reigning things in a little, and dare I whisper, an attempt for substance over style. Ok it's still Resident Evil, and one crazy fight to the next, incrementally turning the excessive dial up a notch each time; but for the first time in a while,  the story never feels it's being pushed aside in favour of forcing in an extra tentacle or larger horde. Easily the best video game zombie film, probably the best non-children's zombie animated film it comes highly recommended - 7/10.

Steven@WTD

[REC]⁴ Apocalypse - review

2014 (Spain)

2015 Entertainment One Blu-ray (B/2)

Contains spoilers.

So the sequel we've all been waiting for? Back to tight and claustrophobic, to demonic ravenous inhuman zombies, to intense jumps and scares, and to Director Jaume Balagueró, and Manuela Velasco reprieving her central role as investigative reporter, sole survivor, eye candy and where we left her, newly appointed harbinger of death and disease to all of mankind Ángela Vidal. But what about [REC]³? There's no blatant pretence that it didn't happen; there's definite reference to Paco Plaza's slightly lighter, more flippant and expansive wedding shenanigans, but we're under no illusion that back with Balagueró, it's directly back to [REC] and [REC]² both in storyline and a more serious and sombre tone and demeanour.

I personally liked [REC]³. Ok, it was definitely quite the departure from its predecessors and by trying to be a bit more adventurous and accessible, dallying with humour and romance, it certainly lost that aura of stupefying dread and unnatural trepidation that the series had cemented as its own. Yet we can't forget that after the rather weary and formulaic [REC]² the series was in serious danger of falling down to staleness before it had even stretched its legs, and at least [REC]³ injected a shot of adrenalin. [REC]⁴ is back to the formula; the quarantined Barcelona apartment block is now a cranky old tanker far out to sea, the situation the crew find themselves in, full of questions and uncertainty, and once the maelstrom hits, both literally and metaphorically, things descend once again and very quickly to jumps, scares and lots of brutal carnage and dying.

The third person camera has quietly and without fuss, been retained from [REC]³, with no attempt to try and force a narrative that dictates a camera should be kept rolling under the most bewildering of circumstances. [REC]² ended with Ángela receiving the Medeiros slug unbeknown to her SWAT team rescuers, and [REC]⁴ follows straight from this with her transfer to the isolated remote tanker to be prodded and probed by a medical team lead by Dr. Ricarte (Héctor Colomé). Whilst there's nothing too original to the breakout and slide into pandemonium story on offer, Balagueró does manage to recapture that original [REC] mood and tone. The narrative too, flows coherently providing that all important immersive foundation that allows for the intense cat and mouse chases, the desperate backed into the corner fights and frantic decision making, to be exploited with conviction and investment.

The zombies of [REC] don't hold back. Frenetic, vicious, hungry, they're the definition of dangerous. A bite, or ingestion of contaminated flesh and the transition from healthy human to blood crazed maniac is total and quick. They're fast too; 28 Days Later fast, with none of that Romero or The Walking Dead slowness, ponderous or weakness. It doesn't take a horde to present a real problem, just the one, and if not ready with an automatic weapon and a few mates, I'd say the odds of meeting one's grizzly gut ripping end is all but certain. There also seems to be more emphasis on infection, the parasite, death and dare I say it more traditional zombie story, than the religious and ambiguously supernatural preoccupation of the previous outings, and this does somewhat serve to lessen the foreboding atmosphere. The objective is still horror and it still all works, but it's all rather action-horror than unnatural horror-horror, and it's a little bit of a shame. The slimy Medeiros Wrath of Kahn ear-slug alike, just isn't quite up there with eerie, shadowy, spindly and utterly other-worldly Medeiros girl, and the zombies too, are always now kind of where they ought to be, or where they were left, rather than popping up discordantly.

It is a return to the original, it is still a well fashioned roller coaster ride of terror, and yes it's clear the director and team have learnt a lot over the years with a feature richer and more polished. Yet possibly this extra shine; the clearer, less ambiguous narrative and traditional third person [REC]³ camera work, has all somewhat helped to take that something away that made the first truly and astoundingly edgy, and unnerving. [REC] embodied shock and unpredictability and [REC]⁴ is perhaps just that bit too safe; too obvious. It's also all rather disappointing as a conclusion to the enthralling and baffling four part escapade, neither providing any real or satisfying answers, nor any ambiguous or jaw dropping nuke to ponder; the final five minutes rather a damp squib than an edifying bowing out. All this aside, [REC]⁴ is a great zombie horror film, with suspenseful and shocking scenes, some great zombie carnage and pulse pounding action; I just can't help but come away feeling a little short-changed - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Dead and Deader - review

2006 (USA)

2007 Platform Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

Shh, don't tell anyone, but I quite liked debut director Patrick Dinhut's direct to TV (Sci Fi Channel) schmaltzy little zombie shenanigans. Light, funny and throwaway; it's pleasant hour and a half of albeit formulaic zombie frivolities, comradeship and bloody scrapes. Directorial confidence provides an abundance of rather satisfying old school non-CGI blood, gore and action to compliment the whimsical buddy story, and it's a film I find it rather hard to be too critical of. 

For this zombie story we're talking Cambodia, a sceptical military, an evil scientist and parasitical scorpions that render a person dead but reanimated and hungry for flesh and it's all as implausible and absurd as a) you'd expect and b) you'd want.  Later in the film there's mention of a virus, radiation isotopes, and nonsensical unnecessary exposition, but it's got all the hallmarks of a daft seventies or eighties zombie horror where sense is always secondary to set piece action or gag.

Lt. Bobby Quinn (Dean Cain), hero, action-man wakes to a scalpel and buzz-saw, moments away from his own autopsy at the hands of, amongst others the inimitable John Billingsley playing Doctor Langdon. Without too much fan-fair they all conclude that while no mistake has been made, and Quinn is actually physically dead, with no pulse, pupil dilation, vital signs, he does still possess higher brain and cognitive function and perhaps he should spend some time in quarantine. He appears reasonably rational, ethical and concerned with not only finding some answers but the marines he died alongside, not just out of brotherly concern but because his new spidie- aka zombie-sense is tingling as to their whereabouts. Alas though, it would seem fate has not been as generous, as finding the first of his contingent in a room nearby engaged in an orgy of blood and violence it becomes apparent that he's alone in not wanting the never-ending feast of human flesh, and his rescue mission may have turned into one of seek and destroy.

Dead and Deader is more action and comedy than horror. While there are some quite tense scenes, especially later in the film, the narrative in general spins from one stylish set location blood bath to the next with the between time given to churlish humour, excessive pop-culture dialogue and dissemination, and a smattering of romance between Quinn and bartender cum film-geek cum kick-ass Holly (Susan Ward). Private Judson (Guy Torry) is provided to bring some innocent and naïve humour and distraction, in a manner reminiscent of the token black guys of 1940s horror, like Mantan Moreland; and though I'm not going to go as far as talk about racial stereotyping, the fact I'm able to make this comparison speaks. And while it's all rather predictable and unoriginal, the pacing is good, the performances from the main three are warming and engaging and each actual moment of conflict is gritty and satisfying, as said partly because of Dinhut's decision to use prosthetics and models rather than sending it all to a budget animation studio to smother things with artificiality.

We do eventually have it explained (at length) why Quinn alone possesses the cognitive reasoning to not eat his companions. The scorpions you see, are really 'jindu' scorpion likes creatures and legend has it they possess the ability to grant everlasting life but only if they don't manage to get straight to the victims heart. It seems it's blind luck really that Quinn was saved yet it's not all peaches and roses, or super strength and instant healing. He still gets a hunger which must be satiated quite quickly, with raw meat, else he'll turn homicidal killer, and should he bite anyone, they'll automatically, and in seconds, be enrolled in the brain eating gut muncher brigade too, so he'll always be that ticking apocalypse time-bomb. It's all quite the over-elaborate set-up and I'm not sure full exposition at any point was really necessary. He did give me that Deathdream (Dead of Night) vibe of a hidden depth that was empty and unnatural but Dead and Deader is a shallow popcorn flick and I don't think one was supposed to think that hard.

A naughties action popcorn zombie flick that feels like an old-school eighties one, even with full screen black one second transition breaks, Dead and Deader provides lots of bang for your buck, for an evening's fun. Torry and Cain have great on screen chemistry and their banter is the perfect refreshment while the narrative manoeuvres everyone and everything towards the next big and bloody conflict. Some of the peripheral performances are disappointing and laboured, but over-all there's very little to actually complain about with the film gliding by amusing and enthralling in equal measure. As stated though, whether there will be much you'll recall, or care to recall once the credits have rolled may be a different matter - 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Night of the Creeps - review

1986 (USA)

2009 Sony Pictures Blu-ray R(All)

Contains spoilers.

Now I need to be a bit careful with this one as I believe Fred Dekker's Night of the Creeps is a bit of a fan favourite and I'm aware many people hold the horror-comedy b-movie close to their denim clad hearts. But here's the problem. I'm a Night of the Creeps newcomer and not swathed in nostalgia. I've jaded forty year old eyes and I've now seen my fair share of zom-rom-coms; I don't have that sweaty adolescent sentimentality to keep me going between people dying and heads 'sploding. Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to; the point I'm dallying around, is though Night of the Creeps is good, I mean I did just say heads 'sploding, it's just maybe not quite as good for us, as those who watched it some 28 years ago without their parents knowing.

Things start absurdly and b-movie brilliantly, with weird looking giant Dr Who inspired 80's space slugs battling it out and a particularly grumpy looking one blasting what we learn to be a parasitic space slug to Earth against the others wishes. It's 1959, we know this because things are black and white, and investigating the shooting star that's landed, a young confident college boy out with his date ignores the warnings of an axe murderer escaped from the local mental institute gets her violently dismembered and himself infected and cryogenically frozen. As I said brilliant stuff.

Then it all goes a bit 80s and brat pack with J.C. During (Steve Marshall) trying to win Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow) as a date for nerd friend and roommate Chris Romero (Jason Lively); yes I did spot the names. With the only obstacle to their success, obviously, admittance to the most popular fraternity J.C. and Chris agree to break into the university medical centre and steal a highly experimental corpse, which just conveniently happens to be said cryogenically frozen bug hibernator from 1959. Of course they conveniently manage to defrost him, he conveniently happens to be not well guarded, and it conveniently starts a rather nasty series of events that soon spiral out of control.

It's b-movie parody, it's funny, it's well directed and well fleshed out with a preposterous narrative that sways from semi-coherent eighties teen angst movie to The Return of the Living Dead and over the top horror like a metronome on amphetamines. One minute it's geeky guys trying to get a prom date or hitting each other with pillows, the next it's audaciously absurd space aliens shooting one another with ray guns or twenty-seven year old axe murdering corpses up having a second swing at it. What should be a little disconcerting does actually work though creating that b-movie duality where there's the normal world where people worry about their hair and their dates, when all the while we really know there's a second reality only a block away holding an axe and full of alien space worms. My one small gripe was some of the more excessive contrived convenience, which even though I know is part of the b-movie charm, came across as a little too forced. It's one thing to learn that fire is the thing that can kill the little space leeches, it's another to just happen across a box of matches on the floor of your toilet cubicle lighting the last one at just the right moment as one rushes over to its flammable end.

You just can't beat a good old alien brain parasite; well you could with a fiery stick, but there's just something about scurrying little black super slugs with the singular intent to zoom up trouser legs,  throw themselves into open mouths and take over brains, that makes me smile. Why do they want to do it / what's their motive? No idea though I guess the usual world subjugation. All I know is, once in place it's zombie time, staggering about looking for someone new to explode their head in the direction of. I keep saying exploding heads; whether cat, dog, recently deceased or long decayed it would appear they use the brain as some kind of incubation chamber with which to breed (asexually?), then assume control of the host body before popping the noggin wide open to great cinematic applause to fire new space slugs at any new hosts that might be dumb enough to have their mouths open. By this point it's really all over for the hosts, the best they can hope for some sympathetic soul putting a stop to it all with a one, two, blast to the head, heavy duty incineration of the little critters hiding inside.

I've moaned a lot that it's not perhaps grade A eighties schlock horror but in truth it's not far off. Dekker has fashioned a competent cohesive b-movie wannabe that entertains and shocks nicely and equally and flows by to a satisfactory conclusion. Exploding head, alien parasite zombies were never going to disappoint and honestly one could never get bored watching them pop. Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) who I've not mentioned so far is the undoubted star of the show, with one-liners and a personality that rivals even Sir Bruce Campbell in its dry delivery and inventive punch. A fun entertaining little ride with some truly outstanding scenes, but as a whole, one that maybe hasn't aged quite as well as some might have us believe. It's never going to be my favourite eighties horror spoof but thrill me, it did, 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombie Town - review

2007 (USA)

2010 Scanbox Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

For a bit of a goofy, low budget zombie film with more than a passing reliance on groan inducing and convenient contrivance, it wasn't half bad. An incompetent car mechanic, Jake (Adam Hose), his ex-girlfriend and now talented biochemist with lab access Alex (Brynn Lucas), and Randy (Dennis Lemoine) the road SALTER come together to uncover and solve the parasitical alien(?) bloodsuckers zombie mystery and save the day (which to give you a clue involves SALT). On the way there's a zombie ground zero outbreak, a lot of neck biting, a convenient couple of road accidents that stop anyone being able to get in or out of town and a zombie dog called Mr. Slippers. There's a lot going on, the action moves at pace and for all its problems there's a lot to commend.

It either starts appallingly well or appallingly badly depending on what mood you're in and now you feel about true b-movie film making at its brazenly finest. There's some running, some red-necks drinking beer, some neck biting, some stumbling, some garden rake slamming and a lot of CLOSE UP in your face camera shots. The result? Some laughs, some tears, some winces from a great no nonsense opening and appalling amateur acting and filming, but most importantly some fresh zombies ready to stagger around the woody outskirts of the small town of Otis.

I'll say one thing for director / writer Damon Lemay and the small but earnest cast. You get the feeling that there's been a genuinely passionate attempt at doing it all right. With the cabin in the woods massacre out the way the film picks up the insulated small town zombie outbreak narrative by the scruff of the neck. There's an ambitious, albeit painfully forced story that still works, some fantastic made up zombies, imaginative, fun and original outbreak sequences, and it all results in a tight competent little zombie film that more than holds its own at the low budget end of the genre. Complaints are more niggles; there's a bit of an identity crisis in that it's never full on farce despite occasional scenes that do descend to such, and the story is so telegraphed with Lemay obsessed with ensuring every small detail actually coherently plays some part in the story epitomised with Randy, the only guy in town with access to unlimited salt suddenly and inexplicably joining the main cast by wandering into the infected police station half way through. Despite the ridiculous contrivance though it was refreshing after watching so many small town zombie films that never even attempted a complete and cohesive storyline to watch one that has one through its core.

It would be very easy to call Zombie Town a bit of a Slither rip off with extra zombies, but by my reckoning, that Slither was released less than a year earlier, and understanding what goes into film production of any budget, I'd wager the basic parasitic zombie take over idea had at least laid its first eggs by the time Lemay had to hold his head in his hands and watch it appear on the big screen first. This being said, alien parasites taking over a small community isn't the newest idea whichever way you look at it.

I say alien though it's never explicitly stated. Either way they're certainly not your regular earth like blood leaches capable of climbing, infinite asexual reproduction and pursuing fresh victims all over town like hungry little death caterpillars. Finding a host it's a quick trip to the base of the spine where they inject hormones or a virus or something that soon attacks the brain rendering the person rabid, dangerous and eager to pass on the new found companions which have already started to replicate.

So they're not actually dead but that's ok; they're vacuous dangerous gut munchers and as I've now iterated on countless occasions lack of pulse isn't the be all and end all of state-z. They stagger about, they'll bite people or animals who also become infected, they appear to lose all cognitive function but they do degenerate if they can't pass on the ever swelling number of parasites. Denton (Phil Burke), brother of Jake and captured and imprisoned, is a zombie film delight. Watching his slow decent into zombie parasitic madness ultimately resulting in his death with parasites burrowing their way out in number was a celebration of unpleasant and provocative film making and wonderfully done.

The bingo scene, the grandmothers town rampage, the leg chain sawing, the eclectic metal / country / chime-bell score, the whole goofy central idea; Zombie Town is full of vibrant lively ideas and ties them all together, and even though I could, I'm not going to ruthlessly tear it all apart just because in doing so it relies on the viewer going with all the ridiculously narrative convenience. Instead I'm going to believe it was all a deliberate play by Lemay to give the film that b-movie undertone that leaves the viewer smiling both uncomfortably, as well as from having a genuine good time. Definitely a lot better than expected, and definitely a lot better than the vast majority of the low (and many bigger) budget zombie films made in the mid-00s this is definitely worth a watch, 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead - review

2011 (Japan)

2013 Tokyo Shock DVD R(1)

Contains spoilers.

I marked review #100 by turning to one of zombie cinemas more serious and reflective releases. The Serpent and the Rainbow based loosely on the real adventures of one Dr. Edmund Wade Davis, played with vodou and zombification both psychologically and symbolically; pitting western dogmas against Caribbean mysticism with neither coming out on top. It was dark, thought provoking, sumptuously put together and made a fitting choice.

Now the thing I've learnt about our undead friends and their portrayal ever since Béla Lugosi helped a wealthy plantation owner win the object of his affection, is the medium is also partial to the odd bit of farce and audaciously stupid. The very concept is in itself a binary opposition; a state of being, that is neither alive or dead, and the zombie myth, our primitive minds way to deal with the unsolvable dilemma it presents. Zombies are an irreconcilable anomaly; they provoke fear, unease and the reasons they make a great cinematic vehicle for horror are the same reasons they make a great vehicle for ridicule. I've never shied away from this fact; zombies are absurd, they are stupid and when I mention I review zombie films the looks I get are justified.

So what better way for review #150 than to shift one hundred and eighty and look at a film that's the pure embodiment of playing with, and ridiculing these aberrations of nature.

Just to emphasise how utterly, audaciously and ridiculous Noboru Iguchi's Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead is, putting aside for one minute that you've already read the title, I'll describe the big final fight. Megumi (Arisa Nakamura) hurtling to the ground and her certain death has a last minute epiphany in the vision of her dead sister who took her life one year earlier for being unable to deal with the shame of farting in front of her bullying school mates. Surging with new vigour she soars back up above the Japanese forest canopy powered by her now never-ending fart-jet, with her small school girl breast exposed, to battle her camping companion Maki (Asana Mamoru) who after swallowing the queen of the Nekurogedoro parasites has mutated into a hideous flying monstrosity who's also carrying, a young knife wielding sociopath who has made a pact with the worms so that they'll keep her leukaemia in check. I'll add that the fight for the most part involves long anal worms flailing wildly at each other desperate to enter whatever orifices become available and I'll also add this isn't by the far the most ridiculous, or repugnant, or bat-shit crazy thing I'd had to sit through.

I'll cut to the chase. Is it just about the stupidest film I've ever seen? Without question. Is it misogynist? Yeah, probably, ok yes, definitely. Wildly inappropriate, even for a film with such dedicated scatological reverence? Yes, the two (yes) parasitic penis rape scenes make sure of it. Is it crass and at times painfully b-movie? Again, I've got to say yes recalling the paper-mache / zero budget queen Maki hybrid sfx (with emphasis on special). But did I enjoy myself? Oh YES…. Oh the shame… And whether Zombie Ass is for you ultimately comes down to whether you can even vaguely get behind the ideas I've mentioned so far; heck, even if you have, it will still test you.

Blood and guts are one thing and I'm now well-adjusted (don't confirm this with my wife) to deal with the day to day carnage that comes with the medium, but poo, that's something else. I won't mince words. Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead is obsessed with bottoms and what comes out. From start to finish, whether it's excessive flatulence and its social impropriety, to ensuring we never forget out of which orifice the parasite worms are most likely to make an appearance, Zombie Ass is a vehicle for a non-stop barrage of rear-end focus, as if a giggling delinquent on the back of reading too much Viz had been let loose with a camera and way too much money. 

From their first appearance pulling their way up and out of a vile cesspit below a dilapidated outdoor toilet to grope and grapple Maki's naked bottom, the zombies are there to be repulsed by and laugh at. They're covered in excrement and surrounded by flies, they shuffle and jerk about painfully as if they're suffering chronic constipation and cramp; they throw poo, they fart excessively and they're gloriously excessive. By themselves they never come across as particularly dangerous, as is the Romero way, unless of course one gets oneself cornered by a group. The real danger, such as it is, comes from the parasites which control their hosts and the zombies second state; that of quick moving rear ended parasite protruding drill that resembles a bastardised wheeler from Return to Oz stuck in reverse.

Infection is spread by the Nekurogedoro parasites eggs, incubation is fast and the effects total and irreversible. To be fair quite a lot of work has been done to actually make the ludicrous narrative actually seem semi-coherent. Iguchi could easily have bypassed any kind of structured story given the premise but the film does actually try to keep on point, and it does flow with reasonably good pacing. Dialogue is deliberately hammy and the actors to an impeccable job given what they have to do / say. Also even though Iguchi is obsessed with bottom secretions he doesn't ignore blood and gore with plentiful quantities of both oozing, flowing and exploding at any given opportunity, making it quite a test for even the strongest of stomachs.

Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead is the most audaciously daft and repulsive Japanese zombie film of its type I've yet seen even making the likes of Zombie Self Defence Force seem lucid and reasonable, and as such it's now firmly my favourite. Yes I know there's a totally unnecessary shower scene and having Megumi's dangerously close to age inappropriate breast in shot for the final ten minutes was wantonly gratuitous, but I felt Iguchi had actually behaved himself somewhat as none of these scenes were quite as exploitative as they could have been, and titillation obviously wasn't the main focus of the film. Then again perhaps I'm just getting used / immune to the fan service now with the ability to filter much of it out. Zombie Ass is a film I very much expected to hate and while I'll be the first to call it disgusting, vile and stupid, and certainly wouldn't show it to anyone who actually knew me, it's video nasty film making at its brazen finest, 8/10.

Steven@WTD.

Rabid - review

1977 (Canada)

2003 Prism DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

Like Shivers which arrived two years earlier, Rabid is another avant-garde science-fiction / horror written and directed by the now infamous David Cronenberg with partial funding from the Canada Council for the Arts, and another to play with body dysfunction and the breakdown of cognitive function. Like Shivers, there are doctors playing god with the human body without understanding possible psychological ramifications, there's a physical pathogen; this time an infection rather than parasite, and like Shivers whilst no victim ever actually dies before becoming the aggressor there's definitely enough loss of self, unquenchable hunger and neck biting for me to call zombie, albeit pseudo alive zombie.

The central idea, much like in Shivers, is on the surface laughably b-movie. Rose (Marilyn Chambers) is seriously injured in a motorbike accident with her boyfriend and is rescued by a nearby cosmetic surgery who decide as well as keeping her alive, it would also be in her best interests if they try an experimental morphogenetic graft to replace her fire damaged skin and organs. Of course this being Cronenberg things don't necessarily pan out as chief surgeon Dr. Dan Keloid (Howard Ryshpan) hopes, and whilst her body does accept the new tissue it doesn't just replicate what was there before but configures itself into an underarm orifice replete with phallic stinger that fills Rose with an irrational hunger for human flesh and blood.

If a beautiful quite often topless young girl with a blood thirsty parasitic phallic oxter (US: axilla) on the prowl wasn't enough for a good old fashioned horror film, Cronenberg embellishes proceedings further by having those she attacks not remember what took place and most notably, and hence the name of the film, having them infected by a virulent rabies virus that makes them want to join in the flesh and blood hunger games too. It's all a rather far-fetched and over engineered set up for what ultimately comes down to a zombie-esque outbreak but like Shivers with its parasitical sex leeches, Cronenberg manages to not just get the viewer to suspend disbelief but fully on board that the whole thing is plausibly terrifying.

Cronenberg is gifted with the remarkable ability to present the world and the ordinary as not only interesting and natural, but transient and hyper-real; like we're only glimpsing a part of a bigger picture and there's so much more between the cracks. Characters always feel like they have real depth and conversations / behaviour always intimates thoughtfully crafted motivation, though some may be alien or incomprehensible. The effect is to imbue the film with a natural esoteric complexity that's both captivating and disturbing, even putting aside angry armpit penises.

It's well documented now that I don't mandate actual physical deadness in my zombies so with that in mind I'm more than happy to label the rabies infected blood thirsty psychopaths that were unfortunately made by running across Rose as she went about her road trip as such. With frothing snarling mouths, insatiable hunger to hurt anyone in proximity and the apparent now total absence of any empathetic, compassioned or rational self that once occupied the body they're pretty nasty and dangerous crazies and undoubtedly an influence on Boyle's deranged cannibal psychopaths which came some twenty five years later. Rose is more vampire than zombie; her parasitical driver wills her to seek blood, and only human blood, to satiate its overwhelming hunger. She's zombie in so much as she seems unable to resist the hunger, but she's still vampire in still being very much her, with her memories, personality and feelings of guilt and regret.

For all that I enjoyed Rabid I still couldn't help feeling that it lost its way somewhat as the narrative wandered from an alien / Species / slasher to an apocalyptic pandemic in the moments of its inception. Both work as dark and disturbing ideas yet I'm not wholly sure both quite mesh together in as coherent and natural way as hoped. Very much of its time, this seventies horror is inventive, well-crafted with many iconic scenes, and an obvious influence on the zombie / infection craze which exploded. Whilst it doesn't quite hold together as well as Shivers it's still a gutsy, bloody not-dead zombie film that's never superficial or insulting despite a central premise that is quite audaciously daft, 6/10.

Steven@WTD.