Here Alone - review

2016 (USA)

2017 DVD R(2)

Contains mild spoilers.

Zombies have shown themselves to be quite the versatile narrative tool. At one end of the spectrum there's absurd farce and brainless splatter action, at the other, drama, romance and even deep philosophical discourse. Zombies disturb the natural order; they blur the demarcation of life and death, and that makes them instantly and intrinsically perturbing yet curious. In response to the scares and jumps there's always the need for disdain, ridicule and the need to reduce the threat, and it's why zombies are as equally at home with comedy and farce as they are in most gruesome and grizzly cinematic spectacular. But if we're willing to subdue the uncomfortable laughs, and turn away the horror to face the silence and darkness with sobriety, they can force us to confront what it is to be human and alive, and they can provide the perfect metaphor for some serious reflection.

Ambitious in its simplicity, Here Alone; directed by Rod Blackhurst and written by David Ebeltoft is one such attempt. It's a film that puts life, more-so, subsistence and survival at any and all cost, front and centre, then pushes from this to explore morality, relationship and hope as basic human conditions. Yet it never insults, as often films that take themselves too seriously do, by actually trying to answer the questions it poses. People are human, and humans err. We're complex, broken and driven by our own desires, wants and obsessions; and we will act irrationally, wrongly and we will be faced to deal with the consequences. Here Alone embraces the chaos of life, warts and all, and spins a survival story that presents a what-if world with brevity and honesty.

As the film begins Ann (Lucy Walters) paints a sorry figure watching her scrape mud and excrement from her emaciated naked body is a harrowing vision of survivalist truth. It's not the apocalypse from a beach front paradise, shopping mall utopia nor even safe secluded, yet barren and simple, forest shack. She's humanity stripped to the bare bones; the embodiment of sad and desperate, cold and broken. It's not shall I have the can of beans or soup tonight; it's how many beans should I have to be alive tomorrow.

Here Alone is Ann's personal story. From flashbacks to a time before the world fell to the violent, rabid zombie viral pandemic, to her own haunting journey of loss, to stark sober lessons from her husband Jason (Shane West), on survive in the wild, her story of is one of loss, redemption, and ultimately of recovery and the renewal of hope. But it's a long harrowing journey, and one more of narration and implication than ever visceral or obvious. 

In fact I think there are only a handful of scenes where the zombies actually make an appearance, and even fewer where they're actually the focus. Yet, they're actually as intense a threat, and as utterly terrifying as any zombie out there. One can point to the modest budget, and short (23 day) shooting calendar, but Blackhurst's decision to push the zombies to the periphery works extremely well. Here Alone positions the zombies as the utterly final unknown assailant, and Ann and her two eventual companions, Chris (Adam David Thompson), and his teenage stepdaughter, Olivia (Gina Piersanti) as inevitable victims. Each encounter oozes tension and dread, and each is memorable and full of impact. 

Here Alone won't be for everyone. As said it's not a horror, though there are some tense jumpy moments, and it's neither excessively gruesome nor an action spectacular. It is however a thoughtfully presented and intelligently constructed personal, intelligent and haunting tragedy that's both well acted and satisfyingly both complete and in many ways incomplete, and left open. It's a snapshot of how miserable and truly difficult life could be if the walls did actually come tumbling down, and a reminder to cherish what and who we have. Poignant and brave, Blackhurst's take on the apocalypse is bleak but captivating - 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombie Killers Elephant's Graveyard - review

2015 (USA)

2015 Platform Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains mild spoilers. 

Let's talk apostrophes. We all get it wrong from time to time, especially when writing, and thought and creativity is more engaged, than say, any desire to satisfy the minutia. It's not Elephant's Graveyard; it's the whole romanticised idea that elephants would collectively travel to some mythical single location to gasp their final breath; there's more than one. It's a small thing I know, but this small lack of attention is quite indicative of director and co-writer Harrison Smith's low budget zombie effort. For as taken as I was with the refreshingly modern and airy look and feel, and enamoured with the highly emotive characters and their story, I couldn't quite shake off all the small niggles and warts that combined to spoil the party. 

So who are the zombie killers? Well, they refer to the rag tag assortment of young waifs and strays tasked with protecting the isolated and fenced town of Elwood. Led with ruthless utilitarian zeal, Elwood under the leadership of Doc (Brian Anthony Wilson), an ex-military medic, has survived the fervent zombie contamination that has taken hold of the planet. For six years, under the sub-command of Seiler (Billy Zane) these young adults have foraged, hunted and risked life and limb outside the safety of the compound to provide for the rather religious and insular group of lowlifes, who as we will discover, would be only too happy to thank them with a bullet to the back of the head should situation or occasion, like not keeping ones space tidy, demand.

For a world ravaged by a multi-species zombie contamination, where society has collapsed, resources are scant and general subsistence has regressed to something akin to the stone-age you'd think people would have better things to do than paint ball or spread malicious rumour because it goes against rather wonky religious ideals. Yet that's what Zombie Killers Elephant's Graveyard is primarily about. It's not a tense or shocking survival thriller but a highly emotive character driven soap-opera where the very real zombie threat plays second fiddle to odd politicking and strange, almost sociopathic adherence to a disjointed dictatorial ideology; and though, as I've stated, it was genuinely refreshing to engage with something with a different take on post-apocalyptic living, it just didn't come together.

I won't spoil the Elephants' Graveyard bit save to say for an ingenious twist on a well-known myth, it wasn't the worst idea I've seen, and certainly garnered some much needed zombie attention just when it needed it. It's a symbolically extreme and audacious idea and that's ok. Unfortunately it also marks the point the film starts to fall apart as if there's a sudden shift in narrative to one where anything goes, and coherence no longer matters. Rather than using it as a tool to pull the surrounding narrative together, this tsunami of madness acts as a catalyst for characters to acts out and the story to descend in to farce which was all a pity.

It's a parasitic, toxoplasmosis pandemic that's intimated to be of Proterozoic origin and has been thrown through time with fracking. In a candid and refreshingly glib post-zombie contemporary monologue which opens proceedings, we learn despite the best will of the uniting world, its swept mankind aside without mercy and this small band may well be all that's left. The some slow / some fast zombies are reasonably made up and realised, as would be expected in 2015 and though there's been an attempt to imbue them with fear, it all rather fails due to their rather comic spasmodic gait. As is now staple, it's the derivative bullet to the brain to stop them though as said, with their seemingly unlimited ammo and firepower it's not them one really needs to worry about. 

I can see what Smith was trying to do, and though the contemporary drama wasn't without charm the post-apocalyptic dystopia has fashioned characters that perhaps are just that too emotionally naïve and hyper-realised to feel plausible or congruous. There's an over simplification; a soap-opera immaturity and though Zane leads a cast who do adequately with what they have, all too often their characters behaviour comes across too extreme; either passive or otherwise, to believably carry the story they're central too. Sure I can understand someone contracting the virus, which Doc confirms with a blood sample, being evicted, and sure I can believe some bastardised reasoning, broken norms and twisted values and even eviction for seemingly minor indiscretions, but ruthless lieutenants more than happy to equate said eviction with totally detached murder is all a bit much. It's also all rather hampered by a convoluted soap-story which staggers in a rather derivative manner for an hour, only to spiral rather absurdly, in a way I'd more associate with The Asylum, to an unexpected, hectic and chin scratching finale, that again, doesn't do anyone any justice. So, certainly interesting, entertaining and reasonably well shot, this low budget zombie TV look and feel melodrama isn't nearly as bad as reviews would lead you to believe, but also doesn't particular deliver the cohesive, authentic post-apocalyptic character driven experience early signs hint of - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Shatter Dead - review

1994 (USA)

2005 Odeon DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

  

If you can get past the grainy visuals, the deliberate slow pacing, the stilted, and I'm being polite, acting, grandiose pretension and all that comes from a budget I can't imagine was more than the cost of a cup of coffee, then there's something to be said for director / writer / producer Scooter McCrae's high concept zombies with a twist debut movie. It's a big if though. Winner of best independent film at the 1995 Fantafestival, Shatter Dead is not a family and friends, beer and nachos zombie film, nor is it a hide by the sofa gripping teddy or anything close; it's a film to grow a goatee, eat cheese and drink expensive wine too, all the while nodding along though you're really only vaguely following. There's no doubting, in my mind, there's some quite clever and thought provoking stuff going on with post-life immortality, existential nihilism, modernistic ennui all stirred up with Christianity and God's final judgement, but I also have a feeling all I'm really going to recall a year or so from now is that leading actress Susan (Stark Raven) was naked a lot.

Susan is trying to get home. That much I did work out. Her problems however, seem to stem not just from the fact that the dead are no longer staying dead, but that they seem to be really into car-jacking. So with her car and shopping taken, she does what all young women do when offered assistance by a passing stranger, she checks whether he's breathing with a small mirror and after confirming he's not, beats him into submission and steals his vehicle in return. The world McCrae has fashioned is quite the dark and odd one. It's 17 months since 'The Angel of Death', at least that's what she's called on the back cover, came down, had sex with a woman (yes both women, though the Angel was definitely the dom) and ushered in a new age where the dead just don't die. Other than that, they're still people; cognisant, able to talk, drive, work, but also seemingly downtrodden and destitute very much like an untouchable caste with little to no rights. Before Susan stumbles her way back home to boyfriend Dan (Daniel Johnson) her journey takes her to a doss house where she meets undead Mary, naked in the shower no less, into the path of a gang of new order gun freaks who commit quite the bloody massacre, and also inwards, as she's forced to confront her own prejudice and ideals.

I'm not really sure what all of it means, though after watching a short making of documentary on the DVD I'm convinced that while a lot of the ambiguity was by design, there was an equal, if not larger quantity that came from production not matching story-board so I probably didn't stand a chance. The world is broken and with death no longer an objective position people, both sides of fence, are confused and are all looking for answers as to what to do. That's the question McCrae is fundamentally exploring and though the film stumbles incoherently with a narrative that leaves a lot to be desired he does manage to transfer some of the characters existential turmoil to the viewer, and also thoughtfully touch on many of the ramifications that would no doubt ensue. 

Whilst definitely dead I'm not sure I'd call them zombies. I'm inverted to the position I often find myself where I'm arguing the case that just because a particularly rabid / uncontrolled / mindless zombie-esque human (ala 28 Days Later) still has a pulse it doesn't mean they're not eligible to be called one. Here they're just as human as before, albeit without as said, respiratory, cardiovascular or digestive systems. They don't bite, don't desire human flesh and ok, they're at times rather macabre and foul looking, cursed for eternity with their scars from life and how they died, but they seem just as interested in answers to why this all happened as the living. If anything it's the living, especially Susan that seems the aggressor, more than happy to fire a bullet or bludgeon a pretty young face at the slightest provocation. Again though, I think that's the point.

It's hard to be honest, to see past the obvious problem zero budget and ten days shooting obviously caused. The story too is presented in an artsy, laboured and minimalist way that's deliberately obtuse and difficult to follow. I'll hold my hands up too; I wasn't on board to begin, struggling with the amateurish production and the strained, incoherent narrative. Then as the story, and Susan's relationships became more abstract, hazy and uncomfortable I replaced thoughts about the obvious failings with wider more expansive and questioning ones, as one should when confronted with any existential cinematic art. Considered as art too benefits McCrae when it comes to the copious and full frontal nudity and even the blurred pistol penetration which was cut from my UK release copy (it's 20 or so seconds that doesn't effect the film and can easily be found on-line), which I'd consider all a tad excessive and extraneous otherwise. Ultimately though this is a film that will divide and certainly won't be even palatable by most, though especially by anyone wanting any kind of entertaining experience; which sure as eggs is eggs this isn't. Taken as moustache twizzling edgy mixed bag of existential angst though; and taken as a home movie / art project without any and all frills and refinement, it's worth seventy minutes of your time, but don't say you've not been warned - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Z Nation - review

2014 (USA)

2015 Spirit Entertainment Limited Blu-Ray R(B/2)

Contains mild spoilers.

  

Season 1 Season 2

It was a comment on reddit I think, that had me return to a Syfy original zombie series I'd already written off as tedious, derivative and totally unnecessary. 'The best series you're not watching' it read and then went into detail why. A cursory glance at social media and reviews seemed to back this up so maybe I had been all too quick to pass judgement? Well, I will maintain it really does struggle to get going; episode one especially has more to criticise than to praise, but as episode six came to its dramatic conclusion I realised not only was I seriously emotionally affected with what I'd watched, but I was genuinely invested in the characters, world and the story Karl Schaefer and Craig Engler had fashioned.

If you'd dismissed Z Nation as a poor man's The Walking Dead, as I had, then you couldn't be more wrong. Z Nation is very much its own thing; more self-aware, more frivolous and hyper-realised, and if we're honest all the more imaginative for it, invited to play with larger than life ideas and have more fun with the post-apocalyptic premise. Zombie Tornado? Why not. Zunami (Zombie Tsunami aka large TWD super-herd)? Let's not only dedicate a whole episode but have the idea an intrinsic and coherent part of the world. By not taking itself quite so seriously ideas that would not have made the more sombre and serious zombie cut are not only allowed to be played with but are allowed to integrate without ever feeling forced. It's the z-nation apocalypse and absurdity is very much a part.

Don't mistake this for a light flippant comedy though. Z Nation can still be dark and the post-apocalyptic world presented, is real and well-formed, and really not a nice place to be. Cannibals, mutated and nuclear zombie hybrids, zombie-bears, crazed resurrection cults and the aforementioned Zom-nado. Death is still the only true and singular fate all the survivors can expect and Schaefer and Engler aren't afraid to both wield the axe but to have the characters emotionally resonate to the carnage and misery. They're also happy to throw good bit of blood and gore into the mix, with some truly top-tier cringe inducing moments of excess. The zombies themselves are also excellently presented, as they probably should be by now, I mean it's an industry in itself, and it's refreshing, when compared to TWD as it heads into Season 7, to have the main guys and gals back as the primary post-apocalyptic danger.

As with the story The Asylum haven't been afraid to have some fun with our undead chums. Note, we're not talking full scale zom-com farce but increased license to bend the pre-existing post-Romero / TWD template. They're slow, dead and rotten gut-munchers, yet they're also fast when young and fresh, and there's even some behavioural play with narcotics. Then there's Murphy. Murphy is the corner-stone that keeps Z Nation moving and ensures it doesn't become the usual The Asylum derivative, confused and meandering zombie mess. Episode one sees this complicated anti-hero injected, against his will it should be added, with a highly experimental zombie vaccine moments before he's attacked and bitten. He survives, though in some zombie human hybrid condition that's not been kind to his looks, but has granted him immunity from attack and as the series progresses some kind of power to influence those who he himself infects either via blood or saliva.

In the final episode we learn the rather convoluted origin story with nefarious scientists and a viral cocktail including the flesh eating narcotic Krokodil, a pinch of Ebola, some bio-weapon tech from Kazakstan, and even a sample from some poor Haitian voodoo sufferer; and while the tick-list of all things particularly nasty makes little sense, it made for great television. It was also refreshing to hear the actual term 'zombie' in what I refer to as post-zombie storytelling; rather than presenting a world where the term and concept had never been conceived. 

As episode thirteen concluded and the season wrapped I realised not only was I extremely excited to get to see Season 2 and the outcome of the rather large and painful cliff-hanger, but I wanted to continue my journey with this odd rag-tag motley crew. You'd have been hard pressed, an episode or two in, to make the case that any of Murphy (Keith Allan), Roberta Warren (Kellita Smith), 10K (Nat Zang), Doc (Russell Hodgkinson), Citizen Z (DJ Qualls), Addy (Anastasia Baranova) or Mack (Michael Welch) particularly stood out as anything other than second tier actors struggling with a second tier-script. Yet by the end, each and every one stood tall, emboldened and clearly at ease with their roles; the actors clearly growing alongside their characters. Z Nation surpassed my expectations and I truly feel I need to apologise not just for passing judgement so quickly, biased by past The Asylum / Syfy, zombie, if we're honest, dross, but by my less than favourable throwaway remarks ever since. Z Nation isn't dross; isn't second rate or unnecessary. It's fun, engaging, lively and brilliantly written and constructed post-apocalyptic storytelling, and I'll honestly reiterate, it could well be the best horror TV you're not watching - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

2015 (USA)

2016 Spirit Entertainment Limited Blu-Ray R(B/2)

Season 2

The first thing that strikes an episode or two into season 2 is that here is a team who truly know they're on to a winning thing. Gone are any doubts or hesitation; in is unbridled passion and enough reckless abandon to really push their zombie comedy / horror / action formula to an all-time high. At a time the genre, and especially The Walking Dead, could perhaps be accused of becoming a tad stale, it's refreshing that there's a zombie program that has but one goal, to entertain, and is happy to throw out all the stops to make this a reality. Perhaps Z Nation works precisely because it timed it's two finger salute to all that was dark, serious and emotionally draining at the right time, but whatever the reason, it feeds the frivolous and openly silly approach to the apocalypse hunger perfectly, and with season 2 happily turning the dial up to 11 I couldn't be more happy.

Zombie aliens, a hilarious nativity spoof, zombie-plant hybrids, radioactive zombies, anthrax-zombies and even an undead cameo from George R. R. Martin; Z Nation has never been scared to play with the let's say more out-there and generally goofy ideas other zombie shows wouldn't dare touch. With Season 1 setting its foundation, Season 2 is off the hook to genuinely do what-ever-the-hell it likes and totally get away with it too. With the again, now secure cast, totally in control of their now seasoned and serious apocalyptic bad-ass characters unfazed by anything new thrown at them, the juxtaposition of their prosaic, stoical reaction to the off the scale stupidity introduced by the writers is perfectly framed. Even when pushed to the absolute limits, as UFOs melt cows, aliens attack, wise zombie men appear complete with zombie camels, and astral bodies float around the room, it's hard not to side with the characters, sigh of course, and just go along with it; though with a huge grin.

It's not without its moments of sadness and poignancy however scattered; it is the apocalyptic wasteland after all. And though characters leave us; Cassandra (Pisay Pao), which I personally felt became an inevitability with what happened at the end of Season 1, and Mack Thompson (Michael Welch), which though sad opens Addy up for better development; new and recurring characters more than make up the slack. With the group and their dynamic established it's good to see there's no let up to their character development, with even the confidence to add some backstory though satisfying flash-backs. A series like this lives and dies with the detailing of its characters and their relationships and Z nation series 2 carries no dead weight. It also lives and dies with its action, gore and witty stories, and here again it never disappoints.

Bigger, louder, brasher, Z Nation Season 2 is triumphant beer induced slap in the face fun and a much needed post-apocalyptic no holds party. Zombie gun-toting silliness with a swagger it's easily worth - 8/10.

Steven@WTD.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - review

2016 (USA / UK)

2016 Lions Gate Home Entertainment Blu-ray R(B/2)

Contains mild spoilers.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is exactly how it sounds. It's the iconic, sumptuous, slow paced, dialogue and costume heavy intricate maze of 18th century high society, with deep complex characters clashing over honour and duty, marriage and love. Presented as a dutiful BBC adaptation with lavish locations, an array of amazing acting talent and grand cinematography, it's a stunning adaptation of the classic with all the good and bad that brings. Then there's the undead elephant in the room. It's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and it's not a metaphor or aesthetic analogy; they're real, they're gnarly, decaying and dangerous, and they're also a deeply entrenched and accepted part of the Bennet sisters world.

Author of the book this was adapted from, Seth Grahame-Smith described the process of inserting the zombies akin to micro-surgery. Whilst I wouldn't agree that surgery is necessarily the right word and his intervening somehow fixed something, I'm more than happy to agree that what he walked away from somehow, inexplicably given the magnitude of what was added, doesn't show any scarring or evidence that it's been tampered with. It is Pride and Prejudice; it's dances and balls, with afternoon tea and courtships, where ladies need a chaperone and men need another chance to lose money at whist. It's just that it's also a world where London has fallen to the zombie mass, ladies have several years in the far east learning ancient martial arts and Colonels like Darcy (Sam Riley) carry jars of carrion flies in case they're ever called upon to unveil any dead masquerading as alive.

And it all works. Whether down to Grahame-Smith or director Burr Steers, the film somehow, and inexplicable as it sounds, tells the Austen story without accusation of complacency or dumbing, with the zombies a recognisably coherent and integral part of it all.  Jane Austen unapologetically took aim in 1813 at a high society built on a duplicitous standards; there was what one could talk about and what one actually did, and her own opening remark about unmarried men came to serve as the irony soaked truth of the generation. Now I'm not going to pretend with the addition of the zombies, the combat training of the Bennet sisters, and a country on apocalyptic lock down, the changes aren't obvious and quite blatant. It's just that the world Steers has helped fashion comes across just as coherent and believable as a back drop to tell the story as the original does. It's 18th century England, there's zombies, what of it? 

So what of this Pride and Prejudice interpretation? Well, truth be told, I don't really know what I'm talking about. I've never read it, never watched a film or TV interpretation. In fact I'm a little out of my depth; but fortunately I have an in-house expert; Mrs WTD who I've persuaded to give her thoughts… (I added the pink)...

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is true to the spirit of the original Austen work, and to the more famous set-piece dialogue. And, well, it's loads of fun and I can't help thinking Jane Austen would have approved. Most of all it's true to the characters. The Bennet sisters are feisty young things who challenge the patriarchal and class status quo - check. And they are highly trained marshal artists who kill zombies - HELLA YEAH! Mrs Bennet and Mr Collins retain the same comedic qualities as in the original, and as for Wickham... Well, I knew they'd got him right when half way through the film Mr WTD declared "Poor Wickham, he's the real good character here, that Darcy is a complete git!" The exact same reaction I had to the book age 14, BOOM! And yes, Burr Steers, all we ladies of a certain age did notice the call-back to the Colin Firth wet shirt scene, thanks for that. It's a romp, so's Pride and Prejudice, but this romp has zombies in it. It's all good!

In the post Walking Dead world it's no real surprise to find the zombies particularly gruesome and bloody, but it was interesting to find such a detailed, alternative and fleshed out sub-narrative. As the film progresses the binary them and us / alive and zombie demarcation starts to collapse. Already aware zombification takes time, with one's will and self eroding slowly, we later start exploring through Mr. Wickham (Jack Huston) a strange in-between world and state, with the undead able to ward off their final surrender by substituting pigs brain for human. However it's here we can be most picky; as just as quickly are these themes introduced they're painfully abandoned as if being saved for a sequel we're unlikely to ever get, or the bumpy ride the film went through (four directors and script writers) finally took its toll. Maybe Burr Steers who rewrote it again, remarking he had reinserted 'all the Pride and Prejudice beats' saw all this as too off track, which begs why it was here at all?

Ultimately whether Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is for you, is the same as asking if Pride and Prejudice is; as blood and guts aside for vast periods of time you'd not be mistaken for thinking they are really one and the same. The second aspect to take into account is whether you're for or against the whole zombie thing, though this isn't so pertinent in my eyes as you are here on a zombie film blog. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a truly unique parody film; running as it is with an audaciously silly premise, yet played sombre and dead-pan with its sophisticated humour tied in with its heritage and not exploited because of. Brilliantly conceived and sumptuously presented; it's a meta-farce (if that makes sense) that works precisely because it owns its own palpable irony. It's a walking talking unspoken contradiction; it's Pride and Prejudice and fucking Zombies, and just like Mr Darcy, Elizabeth Bennett and all, we're just supposed to accept it. Madness I tell you! -  7/10.

Steven&Jen@WTD.

Cooties - review

2014 (USA)

2015 Universal Pictures UK Blu-ray R(All)

Contains mild spoilers.

Now whilst I personally don't feel we're quite witnessing the end of our collective unconditional love affair with the zombie, I think perhaps we're definitely moving to a period where the relationship will be tempered and better defined. The Walking Dead bubble whilst strong in its centre has definitely shrunk and the great zombie experiment that pushed the undead gut-muncher to an increasingly new and mainstream audience is definitely showing signs of decline. Fads are cyclical; the modern zombie zeitgeist was always doomed, not to fail, but to be replaced with something new. While you may ponder that this a strange thing for a zombie film fanatic to say, I'll add I think it's not only a healthy thing but a necessary thing. The zombie isn't going to go away; it's a disturbed metaphor that transcends era and I believe as long as life and death and all their intrinsic paradoxes are played with then they will always have a place at the media table. The thing is, and I think if we're all honest we'll agree, the time has come for discernment, for less. We just don't need yet another zombie first person shooter, nor do we need yet another derivative SyFy survival bore-fest; and we certainly don't need yet another gleeful, glib and by the numbers zom-rom-com.

Now I almost feel sorry for the big movie executives and decision makers sat atop their mountains of cash watching The Walking Dead craze run amok and not knowing how exactly to join in and exploit it. Horror is a difficult beast to tame and best left to those who truly get the dark and twisted. A gritty and serious endeavour needs vision, a really great script, and the nerve of a director to stay on course, which leaves the safe bet. I all too often come away from a zom-rom-com with the feeling I've watched the brain-child of someone who knows a little of the modern zombie but does understand the rudiments and formulae of how to make a romantic comedy; and that as long as the audience leaves somewhat satisfied and entertained; which they undoubtedly will, then all is good. The thing is, drowning as we are in a plethora of zombie content, one can't just rely on them anymore to carry a film by their mere presence. Each iterative offering sees their impact diluted, so consequently the rest needs to be better. Maybe I'm jaded; I certainly sound jaded, but that's the very problem with director Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion's Cooties. Strip away the shock of the zombie school children, and the rom-com that's left doesn't particularly hold up to any kind of scrutiny.

Avian influenza; bird Flu, and the constant battle to quell the next great cross species pandemic makes for a great zombie backstory, and here the obvious yet effective satirical swipe at intensive food processing, chicken nuggets and cheap school dinners starts Cooties off, well on track. A single infected girl oozing in class with all that unlocked horror potential then boom! A no-nonsense zombie outbreak, kids running, teachers being eaten; blood guts and black humour; things were good, nay great, and I could even overlook, for a while, the rather obvious and rambling one dimensional characters I soon realised I was going to be stuck with. To be fair to the actors they do actually do some justice to them, though how much they could actually do with the presumably one-line character synopsis they were given is debatable. Clint Hadson (Elijah Wood) is a failed writer come back to live with mum and sub at the local elementary school fifteen years after leaving. An hour and a half later, I could perhaps add he's a bit of a dick with some creepy crush on an ex he hasn't seen since leaving, but did stalk. I could tell you even less about said crush Lucy McCormick, (Alison Pill) a teacher already there; or her boyfriend the stereo-typical sport teacher Wade Johnson (Rainn Wilson).

It just all feels like a film by committee with little to no focus or emphasis on fleshing out or developing likeable characters with, instead, an over confident reliance on the highly designed interactions with the zombie horde to see things through; seven producers and co-producers seems to argue that this is the case. There is the argument, however that this nearly works and Cooties is, for all I've criticised it, still a great zombie film with sumptuous set pieces, some tense zombie hide and seek, copious and undiluted, taking into account their children, violence and gore... So what am I trying to say? Just before we start going round in circles; that Cooties is a fun, well produced zom-rom-com, but one that just doesn't stand-out with zombies no longer on their own able carry a disjointed narrative and vacuous characters.

I've accused many a film before of not really being about the zombies; that they're more the driver to tell a tense character driven story. Here the film bets all on them and it nearly pays off, with the snarly ferocious little shits, especially young Cooper Roth as Patriot, pulling off a younger utterly convincing and terrifying version of Donald (Robert Carlyle from 28 Days Later), genuinely stealing the show. It's a virus that's mutated from some rotten chicken and jumped species; it's incredibly virulent, transferring through the slightest scratch or bite and it's incredible keen, almost immediately killing off parts of the brain turning the subject into a single-minded rabid cannibal. Despite being children, Milott and Murnion aren't scared to have the teachers deal with their foe with extreme prejudice; and guts, gore and combat are always in your face and imaginative. For all that the film is comedy, there are times, especially in the latter phases that the action is darker and more serious and with the children impeccably made up to look and behave terrifying it made for some genuine uncomfortable viewing; which was a delight. Unfortunately they're sporadic and randomly placed, again pointing to a production that seems haphazard and confused.

If I sat down to watch just one zom-rom-com this year, and this was it, then I'd perhaps feel differently. Then, the riotous interplay of ridiculous characters, set-ups and jokes all brought together in a maelstrom of silly action, inappropriate violence and gore, and teen level romance; by recognisable actors in a more than competent way, all with fantastic zombies would have me jumping for joy, and I'd be inclined to overlook its many short-comings. The thing is, it isn't and the zombies alone, this time, can't forgive it's failings. An almost film, that for all it entertains and titillates, ultimately disappoints - 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Extinction: The G.M.O. Chronicles - review

2011 (Germany)

2012 Lions Gate Home Entertainment DVD R(2) 

Contains mild spoilers.

A cross between the character driven soap opera that is The Walking Dead, the prosaic long-winded survival yawn that was Autumn (Dead Men Walking) and the highly-stylised, highly-imaginative but audaciously preposterous Resident Evil franchise, Extinction: The G.M.O. Chronicles, is not for the faint of heart. By that, I don't mean it's a non-stop pulsating adrenalin fuelled roller coaster of terror, with excessive gore and sadistic shock; in fact quite the opposite. Writer and co-director Niki Drozdowski's zombie opus is so ambitiously and mundanely epic that unless you're the sort who's happy to sit down for the best part of two hours for full-on zombie survival indulgence; as Joe Averages bumble between fights, cheer each other up, and work out where to put the new sofa, then I could easily see you bailing out before it gets going (which it never really does). Make no mistake, this is a film for post-apocalyptic zombie lovers and absolutely no one else; and I mean no-one. Whilst at a stretch Zombie Flesh Eaters might pull some b-movie nostalgia strings on a date; though still risky, Extinction would be a guaranteed way to have the evening end with you as alone as star of show Tom Keller (Daniel Buder) also pondering how it all went so wrong.

This is the story of surviving when pretty much everyone has either died or turned. And I'd add we're not talking The Walking Dead; we're talking a total world-wide pathogen and extinction level event, 0.00001%, I Am Legend, hope you're an introvert and comfortable with your own company level shit. An engineered virus developed by Toonsman Industries (anagram of Monsanto) called Ranch Hand has gone rogue evolving past it's shut-off inhibitors and jumped species, turning all but the very few immune into vacant shells of their former selves and hungry for human flesh. Things aren't good; I'd even say things are positively very bad; though fortunately Tom has a few things going for him. One he's ex-special forces, two he used to play at an abandoned, though well-fortified army base that's nearby, as a child, and he knows it intimately, and three he had his wits enough about him to get there unscathed, armed with a gun, satellite phone and laptop. His good fortune also continues as rather then ending things rather than face a lifetime alone, he decides to see it out, and is rewarded on day 14 on a run to get supplies, having already acquired food, water and generator, to find three  survivors one of whom is a hot-chick (Luise Bähr as Lisa Sattler), and one of whom is an American NSA agent with a contact who knows a bit more about what's going on.

Extinction isn't the awful story of being forced to scavenge and scrap over the few scant provisions that are left, of hiding silently for weeks in small claustrophobic holes, and learning to collect rain water in your underpants. Everyone's dead so there's food, there's tins, water, chocolate bars, there's police stations with guns; there's everything you really need to live quite the comfortable, if rustic life, especially as said, if you happen to occupy a remote double fenced and expansive army base. It's also all easy to get because the walker zombies don't actually come out at night; well they do, but they're in sleep mode and easily navigated around.

Extinction has a single pace that is measured and methodical. The four survivors eventually becomes five, then seven, there's some internal conflict, then they're forced to leave, then there's a rescue, some fights, a damn, then a final castle siege. Extinction could be labelled pedestrian, measured, dare I say tedious, but one thing it can't be called it empty, and certainly not badly paced. The reason it's full and not merely a two hour character drama, and also the narrative reason for the group to eventually do something other than cook, jog and think about home improvements is the walker zombies aren't the only threat. Owing something to both Resident Evil's fetish for mutation and Left for Dead's penchant for mixing it up, the walker gang are soon joined by runners, jumpers, then later blind-shriekers and even a big daddy boss. 

Rather than being incoherent and breaking the finely woven world Drozdowski has forged, the additional and increasingly audacious zombie shake up somehow not only slots right in, but feels necessary and inevitable. Each mutation while raising an eyebrow, especially the screamer, is also taken so matter of fact by the now tight-knit survivor group that one can't help going along with it. The action sequences are handled in a similar way. Being chased by twenty runners? Just phone ahead to get people to open the gate, no need to panic. And that lack of threat or urgency transfers to the viewer with a film that while constantly interesting, enthralling almost, maybe could never really be accused of ever exciting. 

Extinction is an A to B movie; there's no narrative circles or satisfying conclusions. It's a budget German Lord of the Rings without Sauron or anyone owning a ring; it's the Walking Dead-lite, yet as said I found the thing all rather charming and engaging, even if it never particularly raised my heart rate. It's also worth noting that the cinematography, shot composition, scripting, and performances are quite faultless and from a directing and production point of view, as a budget movie with big desires it's quite the accomplishment. A hard one to score; 6/10 and do watch; yet on your own.

Steven@WTD.

Demon Resurrection - review

2008 (USA)

Feature Resources 2009 DVD R(All)

Contains mild spoilers.

To get the most out of writer and director William Hopkins dark and twisted Lovecraftian exploitative zombie opus, one has to have patience. Patience not just to sit through thirty minutes of laboured exposition, an avalanche of superfluous characters, motivations and ideas, and a narrative that occasionally wanders but patience to see through a film that could easily be dismissed as amateurish and trite. First impressions aren't great; the acting is hit and miss, the dialogue hokey and the story audaciously confident in its presentation given how excessive the content. But if one perseveres, makes it to the thirty minute mark and is still awake, invested, and at some level open to the ideas presented, then the rewards are more than worth it.

There's mysticism, ancient races, strange cults, an ancient burial ground, a magic stick, path-working, and even an appearance from some old god shrouded in CG green mist to have his wicked way with the very naked star / victim of the story Grace (Alexis Golightly). There's a lot going on yet as fanciful as it gets, Hopkins pulls the Lovecraftian world together in a believable and coherent way. As Grace's friends begin their intervention confronting her and her boyfriend John (Damian Ladd), the real world as they perceive it slowly reveals a far darker one beneath, and their concerns start moving away from relationships, phone signals and what coke and snacks might be in the fridge to life, death and whether they might go the night without having their innards ripped out.

The long build up is approached with solemnity and absolute seriousness which can be a bit risky given the low budget and unfortunately it can't avoid the many pitfalls that come with amateur and b-movie yet Hopkins sticks with it and it never unravels enough to fall apart. Also this confidence and self-assuredness to stick to the plan no matter what is maybe the actual reason why with the arrival of undeniably the star of the feature, everything works so well.

The grotesque Fulci / Amando de Ossorio / Mattei zombies that pull themselves up out of mass grave to begin their siege of the house and brutal exploitative slaughter of anyone who happens to find themselves caught out is a full on return to the great zombie continental blood soaked lunacy we've come to look back on with great fondness, and never thought we'd get to see again. Innards get ripped out, eyes get pierced, skin gets lacerated with full on exploitative attention to detail, and the zombies advance like an unstoppable tide of death (as they should); it's breath-taking stuff from Hopkins and masterfully constructed from someone who obviously holds great respect for the genre he's not just imitating but in my opinion now contributing towards.

Yes it's another Romero farm house siege, though more Burial Ground than Night of the Living Dead, yes there's nothing we've not really seen before, and yes the masks / coloured CG mist are easy to mock, but it's intense and gripping, utterly and brutally brilliant and works on every level because it's dark, base and serious. Derivative is a term that's easy to throw at zombie films, but Demon Resurrection manages to dodge this label precisely because in the new zombie world of The Walking Dead and Shaun it's everything that they're not. Ok I'm playing with semantics but watching something old, nasty and no longer the vogue, that's actually new with the ink still wet is refreshing, even if it could be accused of rehashing the same mistakes.

The zombies look and behave much like the non-skeletal long dead murder-machines Amando de Ossorio fashioned for Tombs of the Blind Dead. They're chunky, brutal and slow staggering monsters that move and grunt under the control of Toth and seem to enjoy a sadistic pleasure in killing their (his) foes and eating their flesh. There's no blue skin here or parody uniformed recently deceased leaping about; they're methodical, they know where their enemies are and they will get back up after being knocked down. There's no head shooting and no hope; they're evil and desperately inhuman and seemingly invincible. And there's John...

John is also brought back from the dead by Grace who has a book and knows the right words. John however is not a Blind Dead gut muncher but a white vest top Gandalf / Jesus mystic zombie with an inscribed magic totem of power that's capable of blasting Hoth's army of darkness into dust. His return is poignant, spiritual and temporary, and though he's a bit Casper the friendly zombie, rescuing the scant surviving friends he does show a darker side, enacting brutal vengeance given the opportunity. I will add that a third zombie type makes a brief appearance  too in the guise of Hoth's zombie victims who are now dead and hungry in the traditional western Romero way. I'm not going to over think how these guys got turned or how their eaten insides are now tucked back in but like in The Beyond a little mystery always goes well Z.

A mash up Rosemary's Baby, Night of the Living, Dead Zombie Flesh Eaters / Burial Ground with a good sprinkle of Lovecraft, Hopkins low budget dark and twisted exploitative zombie opus Demon Resurrection is a triumph of amateur horror film making. Oozing with dark passion with a self-assured unique personality all of its own one has to applaud what has been achieved. Demon Resurrection is a confident and self-assured film remaining intense and serious despite playing with the most far-fetched edges of the Cthulhu mythos. It has its faults; mainly born from its shoestring budget and perhaps trying too hard, but it's a film that ultimately prevails in many ways because of them. A full on return to past zombie craziness, with carnage, death, boobies and brutal bloody gore; it's a triumph and a zombie film made for zombie film fans, 8/10.

Steven@WTD.

(Stephen King's) Pet Sematary - review

1989 (USA)

2013 Paramount Catalog Blu-ray R(All)

Contains spoilers.

Picture yourself: the pragmatic rational doctor, trained in science to deal with fact and quantifiable truth. There's a chance your darling daughter's little fuzzball won't wake up from being anaesthetised? She needs to know. Now, picture you've brought your young family from Chicago to live next to the world's most dangerous un-family friendly road, complete with nearby cemetery chock full of all of the loyal waggy-tailed, whisp-whiskered and bushy-eyed companions that'd even dared to recognise its existence.

Stay with me. A short while later, your young daughters most favourite little fur ball is smashed and crushed by the side of the road. Not a stretch I'll grant you, as what with the road, the cemetery; little Church's (short for Winston Churchill) road-kill ticket was assured from the start, but what would you do as said pragmatic father if you were feeling sad and guilty? I'd probably say agreeing to follow your crazy old neighbour (Fred Gwynne as Jud Crandall) to an ancient native Indian (Micmac - though King made this up) burial ground in the hope it'll be resurrected isn't the first thing that would come to mind, but that's exactly what Dr Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) decides to do.

I want to get one thing clear, I did like Pet Sematary; it's just that for the great yarn Stephen King has undoubtedly weaved, there's just too many decisions like this that stand out as bafflingly naive and implausible, and too many events, mostly unfortunate, that stand out as excruciatingly easy to avoid. I mean, we all want the best for our children and would do anything to not see tear soaked little faces gazing back up at us, but it's one thing to make a bit of a fuss at the passing of the family moggy with an impromptu ceremony at the bottom ofthe garden followed by lemonade, and another to take a long trek in to the back of beyond with the hope ancient magic and superstition can perform a miracle.

On the one hand director Mary Lambert's adaptation of Stephen King's 1983 fantasy / horror novel played out pretty much as I expected. With the look and feel of a direct to TV dark drama that almost, other than for a long gratuitous shot of the head wound of a young student who gets hit by truck, felt tame and moderate enough to be pitched at the family audience. There's a dark secret path, mystical lights, the pet cemetery replete with bad spelling, a crazy old man with crazy tales and a family cat returned but not entirely 'right' with the hint of darkness and evil. It could easily have meandered a bit like this then ended with the cat asleep and at peace and the family taking on board the moral lesson that the natural cycle of life and death should be respected. I was, I'll admit, slightly bemused by the R rating at this point, but I really needn't have been.

Pet Sematary becomes a very dark and disturbing film very quickly. Despite the emphasis on the pets in the cemetery, Church's return is really just the warm up act for the turn of events that transpires when, despite the myriad of warning that the road IS REALLY FUCKING DANGEROUS, their young son manages for a second time to wander right into the path of a 60mph death truck that never for one second considers slowing despite the houses and people present.

As I've said, that Dr Creed yet again decides to ignore all the warnings is really a bit of an insult to the intelligence of the viewer but doesn't half make for a tense finale full of murder, bloodshed and genuine jumps. Gage, the returning spirit is a revenant with a capital V for vengeance. Despite being so young his return is accompanied by new found strength, knowledge, magic (for want of a better word), and a strong desire to sadistically murder and play with those he knew. The sweet little boy is gone, instead in full Evil Dead / Exorcist style we have a seeming insatiable demonic force, though it's never explicitly said, interested in using Gage's body to perform all manner of evil and the effect is stark and genuinely uncomfortable. They're resurrected and not reanimated as we get to see both cat and boy re-killed but they're definitely not back to full health either as they come back with the full appearance and odour they were buried with.

I'll mention a flashback to the previous person resurrected at the burial ground, where a young Timmy Baterman (Peter Stader) a returning veteran gets to stagger around extremely zombie like, striking, eating and groaning at neighbour and family alike; there's an insinuation this relative coherence could be down to how long they were dead before reburial but it's not explicit. I'll also mention Brad Greenquist as Victor Pascow the friendly ghost. Because Dr Creed tried to save him early in the film Pascow has taken himself to visiting the family to try and save them from their fate. It doesn't detract from proceedings and it's all acted well allowing for some memorable scenes and sequences; it's just I'm not really sure it adds much either. For all his screen time his actions are ultimately redundant and one can't help feeling slightly bemused by his whole inclusion as the credits roll.

Taken with a huge spoon of unquestioning acceptance Stephen King's Pet Sematary is a good horror tale in the best traditions of Tales from the Crypt or even Goosebumps. It's incongruous and divergent narrative is distracting but does play with some deeply disturbing ideas and some genuinely gruesome and gratuitous slashing and killing that while not quite up there with the surreal exploitative zombie nonsense coming out of Italy the decade before, still stands out. With a touch of The Exorcist, a touch of Evil Dead, and a touch of kids Saturday night horror it's a bit of a mixed bag but one with solid acting, solid production and one I actually rather enjoyed, probably more than I feel I should have done.

While it is quite hard to take something that seriously when you feel it could all have been easily avoided by merely putting up a fence, watching your kids when they're playing next to a road and choosing not to resurrected loved ones in ground deemed cursed and evil. Still, I'm well used to watching films firmly tongue in cheek these days, and definitely more lenient when there's undead death munchers involved. So let off the hook somewhat I'll recommended it, 7/10. 

Steven@WTD.