Shatter Dead - review

1994 (USA)

2005 Odeon DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

  

If you can get past the grainy visuals, the deliberate slow pacing, the stilted, and I'm being polite, acting, grandiose pretension and all that comes from a budget I can't imagine was more than the cost of a cup of coffee, then there's something to be said for director / writer / producer Scooter McCrae's high concept zombies with a twist debut movie. It's a big if though. Winner of best independent film at the 1995 Fantafestival, Shatter Dead is not a family and friends, beer and nachos zombie film, nor is it a hide by the sofa gripping teddy or anything close; it's a film to grow a goatee, eat cheese and drink expensive wine too, all the while nodding along though you're really only vaguely following. There's no doubting, in my mind, there's some quite clever and thought provoking stuff going on with post-life immortality, existential nihilism, modernistic ennui all stirred up with Christianity and God's final judgement, but I also have a feeling all I'm really going to recall a year or so from now is that leading actress Susan (Stark Raven) was naked a lot.

Susan is trying to get home. That much I did work out. Her problems however, seem to stem not just from the fact that the dead are no longer staying dead, but that they seem to be really into car-jacking. So with her car and shopping taken, she does what all young women do when offered assistance by a passing stranger, she checks whether he's breathing with a small mirror and after confirming he's not, beats him into submission and steals his vehicle in return. The world McCrae has fashioned is quite the dark and odd one. It's 17 months since 'The Angel of Death', at least that's what she's called on the back cover, came down, had sex with a woman (yes both women, though the Angel was definitely the dom) and ushered in a new age where the dead just don't die. Other than that, they're still people; cognisant, able to talk, drive, work, but also seemingly downtrodden and destitute very much like an untouchable caste with little to no rights. Before Susan stumbles her way back home to boyfriend Dan (Daniel Johnson) her journey takes her to a doss house where she meets undead Mary, naked in the shower no less, into the path of a gang of new order gun freaks who commit quite the bloody massacre, and also inwards, as she's forced to confront her own prejudice and ideals.

I'm not really sure what all of it means, though after watching a short making of documentary on the DVD I'm convinced that while a lot of the ambiguity was by design, there was an equal, if not larger quantity that came from production not matching story-board so I probably didn't stand a chance. The world is broken and with death no longer an objective position people, both sides of fence, are confused and are all looking for answers as to what to do. That's the question McCrae is fundamentally exploring and though the film stumbles incoherently with a narrative that leaves a lot to be desired he does manage to transfer some of the characters existential turmoil to the viewer, and also thoughtfully touch on many of the ramifications that would no doubt ensue. 

Whilst definitely dead I'm not sure I'd call them zombies. I'm inverted to the position I often find myself where I'm arguing the case that just because a particularly rabid / uncontrolled / mindless zombie-esque human (ala 28 Days Later) still has a pulse it doesn't mean they're not eligible to be called one. Here they're just as human as before, albeit without as said, respiratory, cardiovascular or digestive systems. They don't bite, don't desire human flesh and ok, they're at times rather macabre and foul looking, cursed for eternity with their scars from life and how they died, but they seem just as interested in answers to why this all happened as the living. If anything it's the living, especially Susan that seems the aggressor, more than happy to fire a bullet or bludgeon a pretty young face at the slightest provocation. Again though, I think that's the point.

It's hard to be honest, to see past the obvious problem zero budget and ten days shooting obviously caused. The story too is presented in an artsy, laboured and minimalist way that's deliberately obtuse and difficult to follow. I'll hold my hands up too; I wasn't on board to begin, struggling with the amateurish production and the strained, incoherent narrative. Then as the story, and Susan's relationships became more abstract, hazy and uncomfortable I replaced thoughts about the obvious failings with wider more expansive and questioning ones, as one should when confronted with any existential cinematic art. Considered as art too benefits McCrae when it comes to the copious and full frontal nudity and even the blurred pistol penetration which was cut from my UK release copy (it's 20 or so seconds that doesn't effect the film and can easily be found on-line), which I'd consider all a tad excessive and extraneous otherwise. Ultimately though this is a film that will divide and certainly won't be even palatable by most, though especially by anyone wanting any kind of entertaining experience; which sure as eggs is eggs this isn't. Taken as moustache twizzling edgy mixed bag of existential angst though; and taken as a home movie / art project without any and all frills and refinement, it's worth seventy minutes of your time, but don't say you've not been warned - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Cowboy Zombies (Walking Dead in the West) - review

2016 (USA)

2016 Left Films DVD R(2)

Contains mild spoilers. 

Now, the term 'cowboy' in the UK is more colloquially used as an adjective to mean reckless, wild or unreliable; usually for something that's been shoddily undertaken by someone not fit for the purpose. It's a funny term, that seems to be attributed to John Cleese and Faulty Towers in 1972 when it was first recorded, and here is generally a prefix to builder, or workman. So in many ways renaming director Paul Winters' 'Walking Dead in the West' to 'Cowboy Zombies' for the UK couldn't have been more fitting or honest.

One always starts to worry when the best quote they could get to emblaze the back and really sell the film is 'Zombie Fans Will Enjoy This' as if admitting if you're not, then you really won't, and if you are, we'll attempt some lame headology to convince you in advance that you will. It's safe to say it didn't work; and I'll actually go one further, positing you'd actually have to be pretty desperate and a bit mentally unhinged in your undead love affair to actually get the enjoyment promised, from what is easily the most tedious zombie film I've reviewed. Yes, the daft little wild-west zombie story is kind of ok, the cause of the outbreak laughably bad and confusing, but once it gets going does obey all the rules; it's just that the film is entirely derivative, has absolutely nothing memorable of merit and is so exceeedingly tiresome I'd genuinely consider it the next time I'm struck with insomnia.

It's Arizona 1876 and Marshal Frank Wilcox (played by none other than Paul Winters) has rounded up some dirty outlaws. In the nearby town of Crumpet (I kid you not) Sheriff White (Jean Paul Turgeon) and Preacher Black (Greg Bronson) are hanging two other no-good hoodlums when one throws his lot in to God for a sign of mercy, but instead of salvation gets a cheap sfx clap of lightning and his final judgement for his efforts. That's kind of it; the dead come back, the headshot trope is done to death, Marshall and Sheriff eventually get together with a bunch of uninteresting survivors who tick all the wild-west ethnic, gender and moral stereotypes and The Night of the Living Dead template is abused till it all comes, thankfully, to an early and abrupt end. It's Armageddon, day one, ground zero, the wild frontier where civilisation is tested every day, and everyone is armed, drunk or both. It should be explosions, death and carnage and humanity holding on by the merest thread; not this unapologetically tame, and ponderous, second rate snooze-fest.

For all that it's God's holy wrath; there's lightening after all, it's also an infection. So we have all the dead, even those buried well before all the trouble started, back up staggering about, and we also have bites, dark ugly wounds and sudden extreme personality shifts. It's The Walking Dead regurgitated in the West, and the infection stuff confusion one feels was added just to drive a few painfully forced emotional scenes, where the group are forced to deal with little girls and deputies who are about to turn. The zombies themselves are unfathomably slow and shambolic. As they lurch and spasm about gargling, spluttering and yelping all the time being picked easily off by elderly Sioux or incompetent teens pretending to be able to use utterly fake six shooters, one can't help question how they could they possibly win. There isn't ever a point you feel they pose any tangible threat, and that each tame and generally off-screen kill is the result of baffling incompetence and hesitation.

'Cowboy' Zombies is not a good film. Second tier actors working with a mediocre script that's devoid of all spark; it's a film that drags itself and the viewer along for seventy pitiful and dreary minutes before putting us all out of its misery. I wasn't expecting much but I do normally get something for my trouble; here though, nothing. I've also read murmurings it was also to act as a possible pilot for yet another TV series, and yes Undeadwood with Ian McShane in full-swing, shooting down zombies with explosive expletives would be glorious, but more of this miserable uninspired schlock? No thanks - 2/10

Steven@WTD

Horror Rises from the Tomb (Blood Mass for the Devil / El Espanto Surge de la Tumba) - review

1972 (Spain)

1997 Victory Films DVD R(1)

Contains spoilers.

  

Not overly original, not particularly well-paced and a bit of a garbled cacophony of ideas; nevertheless Paul Naschy's (under the writing guise of his birth name Jacinto Molina) odd little seventies euro horror is remarkably atmospheric, utterly watchable and entirely endearing. This is actually my first taste of the infamous Mr Naschy. Renowned for his role as the werewolf El Hombre Lobo, as well as such horror staples as Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy and Count Dracula, his acting prowess has seen him rewarded with official accolades, as well as household recognition across Spain, for horror fans at least. On top of these roles he also starred in several original zombie horrors, and it's his first, filmed in 1972; Horror Rises from the Tomb aka Blood Mass for the Devil, or Blood Mass for the Zombies, and originally in Spanish El Espanto Surge de la Tumba trasl. Fright Rises from the Grave that we're looking at.

Paul Naschy is the blood drinking, baby-eating, beard wearing and all powerful warlock Alaric de Marnac. A brilliant opening sequence sees him and his beloved Mabille De Lancré (Helga Liné) put to death at the hands of his brother and accomplishes, and them screaming a curse on their bloodline with a promise to return and settle the score. Five hundred years on and it's Hugo de Marnac (also played by Nashy), Maurice (Víctor Alcázar) and their girlfriends Paula (Cristina Suriani) and Sylvia (Betsabé Ruiz), a séance that leaves a lot of questions and a field trip  to Hugo's remote mountain retreat to look for the late Alaric's missing head and find some answers; what could go wrong?

I've seen the film come in for a bit of criticism, and it considered a bit of a let-down, at least when held up against his best work, and this only excites me. Personally other than, as said, a plot and origin story that seemed to scramble about looking for identity the film hooked me with it's odd satanic / vampire / witchcraft / zombie world, and positively oozed otherness with a disturbing erotic, dark and sinister personality I felt it forged all of its own. Nashy is quoted as saying he penned the story in a day and a half, with the help of amphetamines, and the film itself was shot in days, not months with little to no budget at his family home in the Lozoya Valley, France. Whilst the wandering, and it could be argued up until Alaric's resurrection, ponderous, narrative could be held as testament to this, I personally see it as all the more reason to recognise and praise the obvious craftsmanship and passion of all those involved. Horror Rises from the Tomb's story is coherent, the threat tangible, the dialogue and relationships believable, and the action suspenseful. Effects, which are normally the first thing to suffer when money is tight are remarkably polished too, which given the whole detached head being transplanted thing, is quite something.

Alaric and Mabille are positioned as vampire / satanic witches, without fangs but the ability to translocate in the blink of an eye and often a puff of smoke and swirl of the cape, and beguile victims into servitude, and quite often to take off their clothes. Alaric is definitely the boss; well it is the seventies and mainland Europe; and it's his perfectly preserved head and body that need to be reunited first before he can perform the necessary blood sacrifice on the bones of his beloved and bring her back. Mabille can be killed with a silver needle through the heart, where-as Alaric requires the sacred medallion Thor's Hammer (though what pagan polytheistic Thor and Mjölnir have to do with fighting Alaric and his monotheistic Satanic worship is anyone's guess) to be placed on his forehead; which Elvira, the caretakers daughter, conveniently knows where to find. Thor's Hammer also acts to protect them from direct attack so Alaric turns to the swamp and some recently deceased to do his dirty work. It is a bit of hodgepodge if we're honest; but an endearing one, and I'm all for a bit of artistic license when it comes to surrealist existential euro nonsense. 

It took a long time coming but the fetid gnarly walking dead are worth the wait, and their slow siege of the house oozes danger and evil. Before they arrived I was worried I'd have to make the point that those charmed by Alaric were zombies of a sort, and while I'd argue wrested control, subjugation of the will and mute obedience is every-bit zombie, opening up the blog to all and every vampire film where the eyes swirl and the young girl takes off her top and bares her neck would leave me in a world of pain. Fortunately here there are actual reanimated dead and Paula, Maurice and the late caretaker, my glib point aside, are fully possessed in a manner more reminisce of older voodoo zombie films, obeying their masters ad infinitum, or at least until freed by their death or in this case a magical totem. The walking dead are that; macabre shuffling, groaning corpses, impervious to gun shots but wary of fire which seems the only way to stop them. Ok, their appearance is fairly brief, and obviously inspired by Night of the Living Dead, and I would be hard pressed to sell the film as a zombie one per se, but their introduction is powerful, entirely coherent and an utter joy.

With a disturbing and uncomfortable identity I can understand why Naschy's gothic delight has become a bit of a cult hit and why Naschy himself held it in such high regard. A bit Fulci a bit de Ossorio, Horror Rises from the Tomb delights us with a story where the odds appear insurmountable and death is perhaps just the gateway to something far more alien and potentially far darker. Less sadistically in your face than Fulci, it's still a film that isn't afraid to close in when then there's blood spill or organs to rip out; and yes the copious amount of female flesh displayed was perhaps more for titillation than any narrative reason but it all added to the identity and charm (there's always the release which saw all nudity reshot and removed) but you know what, I unashamedly enjoyed the euro-trash. Moody, gritty, disconcerting; this tense Naschy horror is more than the sum of its parts and really given the tight constraints deserves the same corresponding level of attention and love from the horror fan as was obviously lavished on it by all involved - 7/10.

The 1997 Victory Films DVD I watched had a lovely 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer but presented me with a bit of a conundrum. With both the original Castilian and English dub track to choose from it took me until chapter three before I settled on the latter. With reasonable voices I felt despite the distraction of an off lip sync, it gave me more time to, ahem, enjoy the ample visual delights on offer…

Steven@WTD.

JeruZalem - review

2015 (Israel)

2016 Splendid Film GmbH Blu-ray R(B/2)

Contains mild spoilers.

If this was an advert for google glass, I'm sold! The ease in which they not only recorded Sarah Pullman's (Danielle Jadelyn) Israeli adventure, but dealt with all the knocks, crashes and intermittent wifi issues that come with a full on holy apocalypse was remarkable. Also, Jerusalem might well be one of the world's oldest cities, with heritage and significance second to none, but my god do they have good internet. Immediate non-pixelated Skype calls, near instant facial recognition with Facebook profile integration, and hd music streaming available 24-7; when do I move? They also make for a genuinely credible reason for recording all the carnage, chaos and death that comes with an end-of-the-world level event; and maybe we finally have the answer to the headache which dogs all first person found footage films; that of pulling off authentic justification for not putting the camera down with all around going to hell and where self-preservation clearly dictates it would at least help.

Sarah is not having a good time of it. Mourning the passing of her brother she's decided on a short getaway to Tel Aviv with her bosom buddy Rachel Klein (Yael Grobglas). On the plane they're quick to befriend Kevin (Yon Tumarkin), a young, affable religious-apocalypse scholar and future love-interest who persuades them to come to Jerusalem with him first. Not long after and checked in to a local hotel / hostel run by soon to be willing city guide Omar (Tom Graziani) they're out, hitting the sites, the bars and partying without a care in the world. There's a long build up before it's all running, screaming and trying really hard not to die, but writer and directors Doron and Yoav Paz do such a magnificent job of bringing Jerusalem to life that you can't help but we swept up in the girls' enthusiasm. It also gave them chance to flesh out the four main characters such that when it does all kick-off there's genuine emotional investment in their fate.

Now just because it's clearly wings and demons doesn't mean it's not zombies. I was a little worried (if that's the right word) coming into this that there wouldn't be enough to warrant an examination but I needn't have been. It may well be the holy apocalypse; last judgement; Yawm al-Qiyāmah; the final and eternal judgement by God of the people in every nation; but other than the torn bat-like wings, in all ways it positively screams traditional modern zombie. Now I've read Matthew and Luke; I've even read me some Revelation, Daniel and Isaiah, and I'm not sure it was ever intimated that judgement would come in the form of flesh eating zombie demons and a transmittable transforming infection. Strip away religion and that's primarily what we have; an extremely virulent infection that's passed primarily through bites; foul, fetid, hungry and pretty angry undead who can only be taken out with a headshot and an exponential headache. Still, at least it makes a change from mad scientists and incompetent chemical spills.

What it gets right, is gets right really well. The build-up, characters and outbreak; the genuinely expansive feeling, end-of-the-world city siege; the demons' appearance and behaviour, and the general atmosphere of dread, foreboding and oozing evil. I even loved the opening found footage; a short clip from 1972 with priests of all religions desperately calling to their Gods in order to exorcise a young woman in the throes of a zombie-demon transformation. What I'm not sure it does get quite right however, is the whole golem / Pacific Rim size throwaway background shenanigans and a rather rushed and cheap feeling final fifteen minutes, with the gang returning to a previously used location, Solomon's Quarries, in order to flee the city. Rather than act as the tense and claustrophobic conclusion, it rather felt like they'd run out of ideas and money. I'm also not convinced with the story line that sees Kevin fall apart and get quickly shipped out to the local loony bin the eve his lifelong obsession might actually be relevant.

The [REC] franchise is the easiest and most accurate comparison I can make for JeruZalem. Again it's demonic forces, the devil, possession, zombies, found footage and there's a very natural feel and some truly terrifying moments. Freed from the apartment block the Paz brothers have a whole city to play with and do a good job telling what is quite the depressing, biblical apocalypse story on a grand scale. Perhaps not as coherent, nor scary, JeruZalem is still an extremely solid found footage horror that clearly benefits from its location and the unique zombie origin story so as hide what perhaps is quite the derivative and predictable story. Still, given its small budget, its unique selling points and its genuinely tense and brooding atmosphere it's quite an accomplishment, recommended - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Wyrmwood (Road of the Dead) - review

2014 (Australia)

2015 Studiocanal Blu-ray R(B/2)

Contains mild spoilers.

It just goes to show what be achieved with a bit of ambition, a lot of effort and no excuses. Writer and director Kiah and writer and producer Tristan Roache-Turner's high octane, highly-styled Mad Max meets Night of the Living Dead is not just a triumph of independent film making but easily one of the most refreshing, vibrant and original zombie films released in the last few years. With meticulous attention to detail, both the script and film's composition provide a tight, and believably personal zombie experience presented in a hyper-real, hyper-violent, audaciously confident comic book style. There's probably a name for the cinematography adopted by the brothers; akin as it is with the aforementioned Max Max, Travis's Dredd, and going back even further the Matrix trilogy; but with erratic and unique use of speed and angles they've successfully applied the formula, producing a film that feels compellingly modern and fused with energy, yet evocatively disquieting and uncomfortable. 

One of the ways Roache-Turner's story telling works is to keep everything tight and localised, and yet also allude to a further reaching, possibly global level catastrophe, without resorting to derivative radio and television reports. It's clever and something a cosmic, earth-affecting event such as the meteor shower used here allows; and maybe something Romero wasn't given enough credit for back in '68. Also like Romero's Night of the Living Dead the whys and wherefores are also deliberately vague. The meteor shower is Wormwood the great star from John's Revelation, summoned from the Angel's third trumpet call to make bitter a third of all the water on Earth, bringing death to mankind. Then again it could just be some freak virus or bacteria infecting all but those whose blood type isn't A negative. Either way, it doesn't really matter; there's now a great airborne infection, and only if you're lucky enough to find you're immune, and you're also able to survive the fact the person next to you isn't then you're good. Barry (Jay Gallagher), car mechanic and our hero is; unfortunately his daughter and wife aren't.

One can't help but see the parallels with Mad Max. The broken hero in a broken world; fundamentally decent and nice, yet forced towards increasingly violent means and methods just to survive. There's also the cars and his mates as Wyrmwood is both a road movie and buddy one. Teaming up with Benny (Leon Burchill) and Frank (Keith Agius) they fashion a good post-apocalyptic vehicle and a quickly fashioned, yet touching, temporal and authentic understanding with one another. They then head out, first with the plan to survive, then later to rescue Benny's sister Brooke (Bianca Bradey) who in the nearby town of Bulla, Victoria is having quite the adventure herself.

Wyrmwood's zombies are gnarly, gritty and every bit the modern post Romero / Boyle gut-muncher; docile by day, ferocious by night and in quite the numerical ascendancy they really do pose the threat. As much as Roache-Turner's have adhered to the template however, they're not averse to having a little play. The whole day / night cycle is driven by the fact that zombie's blood and breath have become for want of a better phrase, the Earth's new fossil fuel; at night they keep the energy-juice to power themselves and during the day they kind of power down, with it allowed to leak out allowing others to capture it to say fuel engines and whatnot. Put like that it all sounds quite the ridiculous and far-fetched array of b-movie ideas yet Kiah and Tristan have the respect and talent that the viewer feels he or she is with the characters discovering and unveiling in its natural course; things are never forced with obvious or insulting exposition. I've not even mentioned Brooke, Queen psychic zombie and her ability to warg (Game of Thrones) / borrow (Discworld) into and control the slightly less cognisant dead yet; but safe to say again her abilities feel a coherent part of the new world as plausible / implausible as idea of the zombie itself.

Whilst hard to fault; Roache-Turner's exquisite debut is not completely without fault. In my opinion the Doctor and the military goon squad are all played a little faceless and their motives a little too unfathomable. Also with a post-apocalyptic narrative that wasn't yet into its second week I couldn't quite come to terms with a character quite so eccentrically sadistic, flamboyant and well, unconventional. These interludes rather than cementing a coherent world vision, tended to act as distractions, diversions and even though they were always entertaining and disturbing, in a good way I felt they could have been handled better. It's a small nit-pick, and I don't want to use it myself to distract from what is a sumptuous riotous pummelling-paced thrill ride. Wyrmwood stands out as a breath of fresh air in what is becoming quite the stale cinematic wasteland. For a reported $160,000 what Kiah and Tristan Roache-Turner have produced is quite magnificent; especially given that there's no redundancy; not a single wasted shot or surplus moment. With zombies and effects that would still be commended if they have ten times the budget, a tight well-crafted, minimalist script and narrative with actors who unanimously do it justice; it's a labour of love that deserves every zombie fans full attention - 8/10.

Steven@WTD.

[REC]⁴ Apocalypse - review

2014 (Spain)

2015 Entertainment One Blu-ray (B/2)

Contains spoilers.

So the sequel we've all been waiting for? Back to tight and claustrophobic, to demonic ravenous inhuman zombies, to intense jumps and scares, and to Director Jaume Balagueró, and Manuela Velasco reprieving her central role as investigative reporter, sole survivor, eye candy and where we left her, newly appointed harbinger of death and disease to all of mankind Ángela Vidal. But what about [REC]³? There's no blatant pretence that it didn't happen; there's definite reference to Paco Plaza's slightly lighter, more flippant and expansive wedding shenanigans, but we're under no illusion that back with Balagueró, it's directly back to [REC] and [REC]² both in storyline and a more serious and sombre tone and demeanour.

I personally liked [REC]³. Ok, it was definitely quite the departure from its predecessors and by trying to be a bit more adventurous and accessible, dallying with humour and romance, it certainly lost that aura of stupefying dread and unnatural trepidation that the series had cemented as its own. Yet we can't forget that after the rather weary and formulaic [REC]² the series was in serious danger of falling down to staleness before it had even stretched its legs, and at least [REC]³ injected a shot of adrenalin. [REC]⁴ is back to the formula; the quarantined Barcelona apartment block is now a cranky old tanker far out to sea, the situation the crew find themselves in, full of questions and uncertainty, and once the maelstrom hits, both literally and metaphorically, things descend once again and very quickly to jumps, scares and lots of brutal carnage and dying.

The third person camera has quietly and without fuss, been retained from [REC]³, with no attempt to try and force a narrative that dictates a camera should be kept rolling under the most bewildering of circumstances. [REC]² ended with Ángela receiving the Medeiros slug unbeknown to her SWAT team rescuers, and [REC]⁴ follows straight from this with her transfer to the isolated remote tanker to be prodded and probed by a medical team lead by Dr. Ricarte (Héctor Colomé). Whilst there's nothing too original to the breakout and slide into pandemonium story on offer, Balagueró does manage to recapture that original [REC] mood and tone. The narrative too, flows coherently providing that all important immersive foundation that allows for the intense cat and mouse chases, the desperate backed into the corner fights and frantic decision making, to be exploited with conviction and investment.

The zombies of [REC] don't hold back. Frenetic, vicious, hungry, they're the definition of dangerous. A bite, or ingestion of contaminated flesh and the transition from healthy human to blood crazed maniac is total and quick. They're fast too; 28 Days Later fast, with none of that Romero or The Walking Dead slowness, ponderous or weakness. It doesn't take a horde to present a real problem, just the one, and if not ready with an automatic weapon and a few mates, I'd say the odds of meeting one's grizzly gut ripping end is all but certain. There also seems to be more emphasis on infection, the parasite, death and dare I say it more traditional zombie story, than the religious and ambiguously supernatural preoccupation of the previous outings, and this does somewhat serve to lessen the foreboding atmosphere. The objective is still horror and it still all works, but it's all rather action-horror than unnatural horror-horror, and it's a little bit of a shame. The slimy Medeiros Wrath of Kahn ear-slug alike, just isn't quite up there with eerie, shadowy, spindly and utterly other-worldly Medeiros girl, and the zombies too, are always now kind of where they ought to be, or where they were left, rather than popping up discordantly.

It is a return to the original, it is still a well fashioned roller coaster ride of terror, and yes it's clear the director and team have learnt a lot over the years with a feature richer and more polished. Yet possibly this extra shine; the clearer, less ambiguous narrative and traditional third person [REC]³ camera work, has all somewhat helped to take that something away that made the first truly and astoundingly edgy, and unnerving. [REC] embodied shock and unpredictability and [REC]⁴ is perhaps just that bit too safe; too obvious. It's also all rather disappointing as a conclusion to the enthralling and baffling four part escapade, neither providing any real or satisfying answers, nor any ambiguous or jaw dropping nuke to ponder; the final five minutes rather a damp squib than an edifying bowing out. All this aside, [REC]⁴ is a great zombie horror film, with suspenseful and shocking scenes, some great zombie carnage and pulse pounding action; I just can't help but come away feeling a little short-changed - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombieworld - review

(2015 Anthology with some original content)

2010 - 2013 (USA / Spain / UK / Canada / Australia)

2015 Image Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

Not a movie, but a collection of varied quality 2010 - 2013 zombie shorts mashed together by a rather strained news-reader narrative. Presented by Dread Central these 11 short films have nothing in common other than their gut munching brothers and sisters, so some credit should be given that there's something to tie them together at all. Also Bill Oberst Jr. as Marvin Gloatt does a half reasonable job portraying a reporter deteriorating to a zombie bite with a script almost always lacklustre and overreaching.

I've reviewed each film separately. Some are good, some are bad, most are average. As an overall product I feel hard pushed to recommend it as the great shorts can be found independently and other than Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz's audaciously excessive duo Fist of Jesus and Brutal Relax I doubt any would be watched a second time. Still promoting amateur zombie film making is something I feel should be rewarding so I'll be kind - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Shorts in order shown: 

Dark Times

2010 (USA) 5 mins

Rather formulaic first person shakey cam short that leaves the viewer scratching his or her head. Why were so many people near the power plant that late at night? Why doesn't he stop filming? Why is there a guy dressed as Father Christmas and why when he's a zombie does he spit his food out rather than consume it? (Ok I'm being facetious as we know the actor just didn't want any of the gut-a-likes in his mouth.)

These cohesive wrangles aside Dark Times is a reasonably competently put together little bit of apocalyptic carnage that just tries too hard to not only stop and think (see above), but too hard to cast off the derivative accusation it surely wears. I can understand writer / director's Peter Horn and Jared Marshall's fear and could even get behind some of the genre-play, especially the first person transformation, casting aside its, again, disjointed feel, but by the finale it felt they'd given up any desire to remain cohesive or consistent at all, and it suffered for it - 4/10.

Fist of Jesus

2012 (Spain) 15 mins

Okay, where to begin with the silly little gem. Blasphemous? Most definitely, though with tongue firmly in cheek and no real desire to offend ala Monty Python etc. Excessive? Off the chart with perhaps only their previous gore-fest Brutal Relax or Dead Alive (Brain Dead) coming close. Yes it's also prosthetic madness but with such little regard to reign things in, whether it's spinal cords beings ripped out or heads being popped, the comic anti-realism just adds to the insanity. Finally, any good? Yes, it's quite the riotous ride, though perhaps it does actually go on a tad too long allowing me to finally apply the phrase gore-bore; after thinking it up years ago. Another Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz must watch, but for all the wrong reasons - 7/10.

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

2010 (USA) 23 mins

Over-all a highly stylised pop-culture bit of zombie fun that manages to blend story and comical narrated instructional video cohesively and engagingly. Split into segments, something Zombieworld takes advantage of to spread it across its presentation, some are distinctly better than others and sometimes the humour misses the mark, but overall it's a highly engaging little romp. There's a play with genres from people who obviously understand post-zombie cinema and it's a recommended throwaway bit of fun - 6/10.

I am Lonely

2011 (UK) 8 Mins

A brief flirt with action quickly turns into a six minute mildly amusing, utterly throw-away one-man ramble. Chris (Matt Prendergast) spills out the annoying diatribe of self-obsessed irreverent nonsense to his dying house mate and whilst I can respect what they were trying to do it's just not all particularly funny. A tight little play; it's not bad in what it's doing; I'm just not sure why anyone would have done it in the first place - 3/10.

Dead Stop

2011 (USA) 5 mins

A great little ground zero short. Tense, gripping and dark, this to the point zombie footage-cam flit fits a lot into five minutes, even managing a pervasive hint at a larger problem. Very good and would love to have seen something bigger from director Tommy Woodard, who went on to become location manager on such series as Fear the Walking Dead, 8/10.

Home

2010 (Australia) 12 mins

A short survivalist film playing with isolation, loss and grief in the Australian Post-Apocalyptic outback. Jaimie McDowell staggers lost and confused mourning the loss of her would be husband between one gut muncher and another fully occupying the empty barren tundra. An average composition if we're honest, that even manages to drag out a bit. Moody, indulgent, and a bit up its own behind, it's still tight, well performed and shot - 4/10.

Dead Rush

2013 (Canada) c. 12 mins

A mixed bag shaky cam short from Director Zach Ramelan. Full of energy it's a wild little zombie survivor chase that's interesting and engaging yet entirely throwaway. There's a nice little twist at the end but for the most part it feels like a cheap thrown together / made up as it's going along student project, with mates acting as a favour rather than a calling - 4/10.

Teleportal

2010 (USA) 2 mins

A one gag throwaway short; but one that actually works. An idea played with in Demons 2, though reversed here; but we'll let it go, as it's so well put together, brutal, straight to the point, and delivers. A delight - 8/10.

Certified

2012 (USA) 9 mins

A delightful and charming rural 1950's zombie tale in the Creepshow / Tales from the Crypt vibe. It's postman Frank Nuttell's (Thomas Garner) first day on the job and he's soon intently embroiled in the sad tale of a young girls lost father and brother to a mining accident, and a mothers forlorn denial. Writer / director Luke Guidici's little yarn works, is well performed and delivers a great punch line which I won't spoil - 8/10.

Brutal Relax

2010 (Spain) 15 mins

Another truly eccentric zombie silly from Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz. A silly a show-case for excessive violence, it's audaciously over the top and really if we're all honest, just an excuse to fit as much gut ripping, bone splintering, head exploding and blood spilling nonsense into fifteen minutes as possible. Also if we're honest, I'm only reviewing this as it appeared on Zombieworld as I don't think the sea-lizard-creatures from the black lagoon are actually remotely zombie. Still, it's breath-taking relentless fun, and doesn't quite get as gore-tedious as their subsequent Fist of Jesus; also José María Angorrilla provides a lead role performance I'll never forget - 8/10.

Marathon Apocalypse

2013 (Canada) 2 mins

Entirely throwaway short zombie chase, followed by nice clean CG narrated zombie global pandemic intro video. A promotional video for the Montreal zombie run event, it did its job, but is entirely too lightweight as an entity in its own right to really pass any kind of meaningful judgement; still, it is quite a nice atmospheric 30 second chase - 4/10.

Lust of the Dead - review

 

2012 (Japan)

2013 Tokyo Shock DVD R(1)

Contains spoilers.

You know what you're going to get when you watch a Japanese film titled Lust of the Dead or in full, Zombie Rape: Lust of the Dead; well at least I hope you do. Amateur effects, sets and acting, an inconsistent story that unravels into farce, and enough low budget and totally inappropriate sleaze that it leaves you walking away wanting to wash your eyes out with bleach. And yet; somehow, there's always the chance that the crass and vulgar will make you laugh, the absurd and ridiculous will entertain and the fan service will either titillate or be shrugged off as harmless. It's a tall ask though, as the for every Zombie Ass: Toilet of theDead or Troma flick that's at its brazen best, there are scores of titles that fall so low that merely uttering their names leaves one feeling unclean.

As probably imagined, I really want to throw Lust of the Dead with its rape agenda, its dangerously age inappropriate nudity and its penchant for the systematic objectification of all women, firmly in the latter pile; and for a good hour I was definitely planning on doing just that. Then somehow, it managed  the impossible. Somehow despite the good hour of obsessive breast focus and panty flash and the umpteenth gratuitously shot brutal rape or gang-rape, all I believe totally justified by director and co-screen writer Naoyuki Tomomatsu's ludicrous testosterone fuelled zombie origin narrative, it managed to demonstrate that tiniest spark of self-awareness; like it could actually, maybe, be more than it was.

Don't get me wrong. It didn't try too hard and by elevate itself I'm talking a 3 not a 1. I mean listening to Kanae (Asami Sugiuri) shouting 'Women are not sex slaves for men!' while battling the hordes of horny undead all managing to pull at her kimono until her breasts were free for audience to ogle and the extras to grope, even if she does manage the last word by blasting them all to kingdom come, is, if as a last minute attempt to redress the balance, woefully missing the point. Yet it could be argued it is at least trying, and the five minutes or so of high octane OneChanbara-esque fighting preceding it was head and shoulders better than the sporadic and quite lame scuffles that had come before.

It's normally at this part of the review I start delving into the pertinent zombie origin story, though here I don't know quite where to begin. The Ozone hole, GM crops, space radiation, the Shinto Japanese myth cycle are all cited along with some stuff about bacteria, the origins of oxygen based life and the need for constant evolution. What we do know though, is, dokyun men (think high testosterone, sports, naturally rapey) have all turned into insatiable sex mad zombies driven solely to strip, grope and rape women. I say dokyun men, as the seemingly only alternative is otaku or stay-at-home manga / anime loner men who say they are happy to remain sexless though as we find out the slightest provocation and these guys too turn. So it's kind of all men and as stressed in one of the laboured TV cut-in debate interludes maybe what's wrong with rape anyway as it would begin to redress not just an imagined gender imbalance but all societal, wealth, nature and power imbalances as well; so why differentiate one man from another, we're all as bad or all as entitled...

Lust for the Dead is soft porn pretending to be a zombie film pretending to be soft porn; not only just managing to stay the wrong side of appropriate throughout but on occasion really stepping over by playing that creepy, last seen in Attack Girls Swim vs The Undead, scene that suggests that the those on the receiving end of a right good rape might in some way be grateful for the sexual stimulation. Yet, for all I've just said, it did just enough in its final few throes to stop me from totally hating both it and myself for buying it. Once the North Korea death nuke hits, the zombies suddenly become more interesting in the sense they're really probably quite dead now, even finally looking the part. Also the surviving female companions appear to have found some sudden depth, maybe on screen for more than having their blouse hang open, or to have a clumsy lesbian make-out with a new best friend.

The cityscape they find themselves in too, suddenly has a beautiful yet eerie post-apocalyptic vibe, giving the film an expansiveness not felt in the first hour or so that had them stuck in the same four walls nostalgically flashing back to pre-zombie sexual inappropriateness. I'll whisper this final bit, but the final scene had almost a Zombie Flesh Eaters (Zombi 2) feel; also it would be hard not to mention David Cronenberg's Shivers which too played with the idea of non-dead sexually charged men and women who are so driven their higher self begins to deteriorate though in that instance in with entirely different style, substance, skill and subtlety.

Overall, Lust of the Dead is distasteful misogynistic fantasy; playing with rape and sexpolitation in a really creepy way that not only feels uncomfortable while thinking about the characters but spills over into thinking about the young actresses who had to work with the myriad of older Japanese men who seemed more than comfortable simulating gang-rape, and squeezing and jiggling their breasts at every opportunity. It's a film that some will really enjoy, as gore, zombies, fun and boobies can make a good mix, yet for me, despite thinking it was poking both genders, it's just not enough and I'm left feeling like I need a brain bleach, though I better hold off as there's parts 2, 3 and heaven help us, 4 too - 3/10.

Steven@WTD.

Premutos - The Fallen Angel (Lord of the Living Dead) - review

1997 (Germany)

2011 Another World Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

In the beginning, before Lucifer fell from God's grace there was another. Premutos - The first fallen angel, the ruler of life and death, the bringer of disease, hate and sin, and an all-round general douche-bag with a lot of daddy issues. Now Premutos has a plan to make Earth quite the most unpleasant place to bring children up in and he's decided the best way of achieving his goals is, like God, by gifting the world a son to bridge the gap and pave the way.

Premutos - The Fallen Angel is German splatter director and writer Olaf Ittenbach's low budget ode to Jackson's Dead Alive (Braindead). It has humour, a convoluted hokey story, exaggerated and eccentric characters, outlandish special effects and an unhealthy obsession with getting what's inside a person to the outside as graphically as possible. In the first ten minutes we witness blood vomiting, arms being ripped off, a spade being pummelled into a person's face, people being burnt alive, head explosions and enough innards to last a (relatively healthy) person a lifetime. From start to finish this is not a film for the squeamish; death, especially when there's axes, shotguns, ricocheting bullets, tanks, etc. is never going to be pretty but Ittenbach's gory insistence to leave nothing to the imagination makes this one of those films that you'll know is going to be for you or not before the title music has finished. This being said, this isn't slow and seductive Fulci torture porn; it's high octane Jackson head pop and move on. The camera rarely lingers as there's always another limb to see being severed, and it also helps to hide the obvious budgetary constraints when putting something together quite this lavish and ambitious.

It's Germany, it's modern dayish and the eve of Walter's (Christopher Stacey) birthday bash. His son, and who we discover to be also Premutos's little bit of Earthly flesh and bone, through the use of many, many flashbacks, Matthias (played by Olaf Ittenbach) gets into a bit of scrape at football practice resulting in his purple-helmeted Spartan of love needing hospital attention. His dad meanwhile engaged with planting his annual birthday tree, finds and digs up an old hidden treasure trove of phials, and the Premutos guidebook to resurrecting fallen angles and bringing on the zombie apocalypse. Anyway, the lad's throbbing beef probe meets Premutos's ancient zombie balm, a weird group of party guests begin to celebrate and the stage is set for the arrival of the other risen lord, his delinquent army of the dead and the z-mix buffet of running, screaming, death and carnage.

One thing  Olaf Ittenbach can't be accused of is playing it safe. What Premutos lacks in spit and polish it more than makes up for in ambition and scope. Whether India 1023, Germany 1942, Bavaria 1293, Scotland, Stalingrad or even Christ's crucifixion and resurrection, Ittenbach isn't afraid to throw his narrative off the linear path and each new setting is tackled with genuine respect and attention to detail. Ok, with such budgetary deficiencies there's always an extra to point at or a prop to laugh at, but one can tell that there has been a real attempt to make each scene unique, and yet authentic and plausible in the grander scope of the story . Yes the narrative is convoluted, and does linger and stutter on occasion; overall though what Ittenbach is trying to sell us as the reason for all the mayhem and bloodshed is coherent and interesting.

The recurrent theme through the ages is the eventual transformation of Matthias (or whatever his name is in each epoch), son of man into the son of Premutos. Each awakening is guttural and disturbing, never more so when Matthias himself writhes and contorts into his new form suddenly entwined with barbed wire and pierced with rods and blades. It's truly grotesque, as is his new found appearance; but putting aside for one minute whether his new state is zombie or some transcendent between state, it's his ability to now tap into his father's powers over life and death that's of most interest to us zombie fans.

The zombies of Premutos are Romero slow, actually they're slower; they're cumbersome, they're meandering and whilst they do make a right mess once they get hold of their next meal, they're actually a bit rubbish about actually getting it. It's headshots, mostly, as they go over should they take enough damage to other areas, though it's a bit inconsistent and vague. There's no virus, we never see any of the ones being eaten actually rise again, as they're mostly just eaten. Also the forces of Premutos must be quite something as the dead to arrive in quite the number, given for what I assumed was a quite the small town And while we're talking unrealistic numbers I'll briefly mention the infinity-guns that seemingly never need to be reloaded… Appearance wise they're adequately done. The actors mostly hold it together though there's never a need to try too hard as they're likely to not be on screen very long as Ittenbach like's to get through them at quite the pace.

Premutos - The Fallen Angel is the sort of film I never like to knock. Undoubtedly amateurish and a bit rubbish in all areas it's also ambitious, coherent, imaginative, expansive and generally entertaining. There has been a real effort at a dark, gritty old fashioned zombie splatter-fest and it delivers; from start to finish the gore is disturbing and disgusting, the story unfolds reasonably naturally, the characters and acting are euro-eccentric but never dull and the ending is outlandish and satisfying. My only real complaint is it does overstay it's welcome a tad. The final barn siege scene is twice as long as needed and whilst I was enjoying the copious carnage I quite often found my mind wandering after the third or fourth (or seventh or eighth) similar zombie gut wrench in a row. A proper daft old zombie splatter like Dead Alive but without quite the same level of humour, polish or pizzazz - 6/10.

Steven@WTD.