Zombieworld - review

(2015 Anthology with some original content)

2010 - 2013 (USA / Spain / UK / Canada / Australia)

2015 Image Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

Not a movie, but a collection of varied quality 2010 - 2013 zombie shorts mashed together by a rather strained news-reader narrative. Presented by Dread Central these 11 short films have nothing in common other than their gut munching brothers and sisters, so some credit should be given that there's something to tie them together at all. Also Bill Oberst Jr. as Marvin Gloatt does a half reasonable job portraying a reporter deteriorating to a zombie bite with a script almost always lacklustre and overreaching.

I've reviewed each film separately. Some are good, some are bad, most are average. As an overall product I feel hard pushed to recommend it as the great shorts can be found independently and other than Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz's audaciously excessive duo Fist of Jesus and Brutal Relax I doubt any would be watched a second time. Still promoting amateur zombie film making is something I feel should be rewarding so I'll be kind - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Shorts in order shown: 

Dark Times

2010 (USA) 5 mins

Rather formulaic first person shakey cam short that leaves the viewer scratching his or her head. Why were so many people near the power plant that late at night? Why doesn't he stop filming? Why is there a guy dressed as Father Christmas and why when he's a zombie does he spit his food out rather than consume it? (Ok I'm being facetious as we know the actor just didn't want any of the gut-a-likes in his mouth.)

These cohesive wrangles aside Dark Times is a reasonably competently put together little bit of apocalyptic carnage that just tries too hard to not only stop and think (see above), but too hard to cast off the derivative accusation it surely wears. I can understand writer / director's Peter Horn and Jared Marshall's fear and could even get behind some of the genre-play, especially the first person transformation, casting aside its, again, disjointed feel, but by the finale it felt they'd given up any desire to remain cohesive or consistent at all, and it suffered for it - 4/10.

Fist of Jesus

2012 (Spain) 15 mins

Okay, where to begin with the silly little gem. Blasphemous? Most definitely, though with tongue firmly in cheek and no real desire to offend ala Monty Python etc. Excessive? Off the chart with perhaps only their previous gore-fest Brutal Relax or Dead Alive (Brain Dead) coming close. Yes it's also prosthetic madness but with such little regard to reign things in, whether it's spinal cords beings ripped out or heads being popped, the comic anti-realism just adds to the insanity. Finally, any good? Yes, it's quite the riotous ride, though perhaps it does actually go on a tad too long allowing me to finally apply the phrase gore-bore; after thinking it up years ago. Another Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz must watch, but for all the wrong reasons - 7/10.

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

2010 (USA) 23 mins

Over-all a highly stylised pop-culture bit of zombie fun that manages to blend story and comical narrated instructional video cohesively and engagingly. Split into segments, something Zombieworld takes advantage of to spread it across its presentation, some are distinctly better than others and sometimes the humour misses the mark, but overall it's a highly engaging little romp. There's a play with genres from people who obviously understand post-zombie cinema and it's a recommended throwaway bit of fun - 6/10.

I am Lonely

2011 (UK) 8 Mins

A brief flirt with action quickly turns into a six minute mildly amusing, utterly throw-away one-man ramble. Chris (Matt Prendergast) spills out the annoying diatribe of self-obsessed irreverent nonsense to his dying house mate and whilst I can respect what they were trying to do it's just not all particularly funny. A tight little play; it's not bad in what it's doing; I'm just not sure why anyone would have done it in the first place - 3/10.

Dead Stop

2011 (USA) 5 mins

A great little ground zero short. Tense, gripping and dark, this to the point zombie footage-cam flit fits a lot into five minutes, even managing a pervasive hint at a larger problem. Very good and would love to have seen something bigger from director Tommy Woodard, who went on to become location manager on such series as Fear the Walking Dead, 8/10.

Home

2010 (Australia) 12 mins

A short survivalist film playing with isolation, loss and grief in the Australian Post-Apocalyptic outback. Jaimie McDowell staggers lost and confused mourning the loss of her would be husband between one gut muncher and another fully occupying the empty barren tundra. An average composition if we're honest, that even manages to drag out a bit. Moody, indulgent, and a bit up its own behind, it's still tight, well performed and shot - 4/10.

Dead Rush

2013 (Canada) c. 12 mins

A mixed bag shaky cam short from Director Zach Ramelan. Full of energy it's a wild little zombie survivor chase that's interesting and engaging yet entirely throwaway. There's a nice little twist at the end but for the most part it feels like a cheap thrown together / made up as it's going along student project, with mates acting as a favour rather than a calling - 4/10.

Teleportal

2010 (USA) 2 mins

A one gag throwaway short; but one that actually works. An idea played with in Demons 2, though reversed here; but we'll let it go, as it's so well put together, brutal, straight to the point, and delivers. A delight - 8/10.

Certified

2012 (USA) 9 mins

A delightful and charming rural 1950's zombie tale in the Creepshow / Tales from the Crypt vibe. It's postman Frank Nuttell's (Thomas Garner) first day on the job and he's soon intently embroiled in the sad tale of a young girls lost father and brother to a mining accident, and a mothers forlorn denial. Writer / director Luke Guidici's little yarn works, is well performed and delivers a great punch line which I won't spoil - 8/10.

Brutal Relax

2010 (Spain) 15 mins

Another truly eccentric zombie silly from Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz. A silly a show-case for excessive violence, it's audaciously over the top and really if we're all honest, just an excuse to fit as much gut ripping, bone splintering, head exploding and blood spilling nonsense into fifteen minutes as possible. Also if we're honest, I'm only reviewing this as it appeared on Zombieworld as I don't think the sea-lizard-creatures from the black lagoon are actually remotely zombie. Still, it's breath-taking relentless fun, and doesn't quite get as gore-tedious as their subsequent Fist of Jesus; also José María Angorrilla provides a lead role performance I'll never forget - 8/10.

Marathon Apocalypse

2013 (Canada) 2 mins

Entirely throwaway short zombie chase, followed by nice clean CG narrated zombie global pandemic intro video. A promotional video for the Montreal zombie run event, it did its job, but is entirely too lightweight as an entity in its own right to really pass any kind of meaningful judgement; still, it is quite a nice atmospheric 30 second chase - 4/10.

Dead Meat - review

2004 (Ireland)

2005 Revolver Entertainment DVD R(2) 

Contains spoilers.

'Old O'Conner had a farm, ee-i-ee-o, and on that farm he had some cows ee-i-ee-o. With a mooeerrgghhhh mooeerrgghhhhhere here, a mooeerrgghhhh mooeerrgghhhh there. Here a mooeerrgghhhh, there a mooeerrgghhhh, everywhere a mooeerrgghhhh mooeerrgghhhh. Old O'Conner had a farm, ee-i-ee-o.' Zombie cows eh, that's a new one, and yes it sounds ridiculous, hell, it is ridiculous, but at least it gives debut Director / Writer Conor McMahon's otherwise rather samey low budget bland zombie Night of the Living Dead remake, something unique that one will remember it by.

Mad Cow Disease or Bovine spongiform encephalopathy is a rather nasty neurodegenerative disease that came to wide spread attention in the eighties, especially in the UK after some bright spark thought the best way to feed cows on the cheap was to offer them the culinary delight that was the brains and spinal cords of cows that may or may not be already infected. Anyway, after 180,000 infected, a cull of 4.4 million and the meat entering the human food chain, mutating into Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease and killing 177, farmers decided that maybe they should stick to grass.

So what does this have to do with Dead Meat? Well, Dead Meat in a playful twist on real life events, has cows rather than stagger about dumbly as their brains turn to mush, instead turn into homicidal bovine butcherers hell bent on rampaging across the green fields of County Leitrim, Ireland, looking for people to bite and spread the epizootic-love too. Dead Meat is also a clever play on words to both point to the dead meat fed to the cows in the first place, and the state couple Helena (Marián Araújo) and Martin (David Ryan) and the scant other survivors find themselves in, as they battle to stay one step ahead of the ever increasing horde / herd.

One has to always frame reviews of film projects such as this in context. Financed in part by an Irish Film Board grant, it was filmed in just three weeks under frugal conditions making use of the production crew's own vehicles and sets and reliant on the good nature of locals who agreed to act as last minute extras. What I'm saying is, it was never going to be able to directly compete production wise, with the many million dollar franchises I've also reviewed. But the one thing independent films like this do have in their favour is the ability to be highly original, so the fact other than having zombie cows, it's all rather formulaic, is a disappointment.

On the one hand, like I said, we have a fairly safe Irish take on Night of the Living Dead; a couple get lost, the girl gets away and is harried across the countryside by an ever increasing undead presence until she meets up with a few other survivors before we have the big  final siege. It's well shot, pretty well acted and competently put together with some real attention to spice things up with gnarly bits of Fulci-esque gore-porn and pulls off the remake. On the other hand it tries a bit too hard at times to be a bit Evil Dead with dark and zany elaborate kills that just end up feeling out of place, and an odd-ball couple who feel like they've just dropped in straight from the set of Father Ted. The humour just never really gels with the competent little survival horror idling along in the background, taking over scenes and detracting from the flow.

This identity crisis travels over into the zombies themselves. The first gut muncher we come across is traditional picture perfect. He gets run over, his pulse is clearly marked as past-tense, he rises again devoid of humanity and takes a bite. The second however is a little more refined. He can wield a weapon, use a tool to break down a door and knows enough to stand on a hand to keep his victim in place, while he un-sticks said weapon to take another swipe. He's more homicidal crazy with a modicum of self-awareness and intelligence than primal gut muncher, as are the weapon wielding Irish-hill-billies that suddenly come tumbling into the arena to join the chase. And it's like this through the film, one minute it's a Romero plodder slowly and inevitably closing in, the next it's a screaming gurgling crazy (who might not actually be dead). Add to this the hint that the cows may actually be some kind of bovine-puppet-masters with the ability to organise the infected to group and attack en masse and we're left with an enemy that feels a bit thrown together at the last minute; I should add they look that way too.

A bit of a confused mess Conor McMahon's film making and core narrative do manage to salvage the film enough to be above the usual mediocre low budget zombie cash-ins. It's not a film I could hand on heart ever recommend, but if you happen to find it on and can't be bothered to stretch for the remote to find something else, rest assured you will be entertained, the action is well scripted, the gore and effects show attention to detail, the acting is solid and there are more than a few moments that will stick in your head once the credits roll. An unspectacular amateur action / horror, Dead Meat is overall okay, and sometimes that's enough - 4/10.

Steven@WTD.