The Sky Has Fallen - review

2009 (USA)

2015 Lost Forever Productions (Ultimate Edition) DVD R(0)

Contains spoilers. 

Sure, writer, director, producer, chief cook and bottle washer Doug Roos's passion project has its faults; I'd bet my bottom dollar Roos himself could easily provide a list of all things he'd want to improve or change, and sure there are better dark and brooding; for a frivolous zom-rom-com this is certainly not, zombie horrors out there, but I honestly challenge anyone to name me an independent no budget fully-fledged feature with as much character, attention to detail, originality and honesty. The Sky Has Fallen is testament that indie passion and vision, combined with stubbornness, tenacity and energy can produce something that easily holds itself up to far grander and more entitled efforts. At a time when the zombie movie scene is awash with cheap and lazy, that honourable and sincere little gems like this still make it through the quagmire gives genuine hope.

If you're one that believes a true post-apocalyptic landscape would be far from an introverted paradise and self-indulgent playground then The Sky Has Fallen could well be your wet-dream. Roos paints a world of misery, brutality and insufferable despondency. I'm a genuinely glass is half full kind of guy but faced with this alien / zombie nightmare, where the danger isn't just being bitten and going rogue but possibly facing an eternity of the most depraved Hellraiser torture; if you're lucky; I really don't think even I'd be able to muster any positivity or hope. Fortunately it's not down to me though, as Roos has Lance (Carey MacLaren) and Rachel (Laurel Kemper) two strong and driven characters who do seem up for challenging the status-quo and saving man-kind.

The Sky Has Fallen is a zombie film quite like no other. If I were to make connections I'd argue there's a European continental esoteric and ambiguous, yet deeply unsettling vibe akin to Fulci and his Gates of Hell trilogy. Then there's Barker's Hellraiser parallel; of paradigm-disrupting monsters visiting Earth for some gratuitous and sadistic fun and frolics. Then it's still all zombie and a western homage to the Japan's Versus with dozens if not hundreds of slow shuffling and insatiable dead falling to exacting and perfectly choreographed samurai sword-swinging and gun-toting precision. And if all this isn't enough it's a powerful character driven melodrama with forceful performances that resonate and move.

If an airborne pandemic with 100% effectiveness leading to the total downfall of mankind wasn't bad enough, it seems it was merely stage one. No sooner have the few immune survivors started to adjust to a new world alone without the love and support of friends, family or any form of coherent government or society their grieving is brought to an abrupt end by the arrival of real perpetrators; black cloaked, mandible wielding, mind controlling, zombie-fashioning sadistic little shits that seem to see humanity as nothing other than their next meal. And I mean to say this in the same way a cat views its dinner; for as much as our consumption is important, it would also appear sadism is an integral and important part of the process. Whether they're aliens, demons, transdimensional parasites, like their sinister, emotionless barbarism, not understanding or controlling the whys and wherefores all aids the brooding, deeply unsettling atmosphere. Again for a film with under such financial pressure, the handling and screen presence of these masters is fabulously realised, as are the zombies they create and control. And again as we'd expect much of the slicing and dicing is off camera and more intimated than realised, but Roos hasn't held back with some truly awful and appalling (in a good way) and highly effective make-up and close-ups that encapsulates his undoubted fetid and utterly depraved vision of hell on earth.

Ok, I did feel some of the moody and indulgent conversation and reflection did repeat itself and drag proceedings. I also felt whilst brilliantly realised and deliberately shocking, the film did somewhat lose its aesthetic soul with perhaps one too many perverse and gratuitous torture / murder scenes. It's ironic that the Ultimate edition I watched, with eight additional minutes of tinkering over the 2009 release might actually now itself be in need of edit. A fabulous passion project I'd far rather talk about for all it does right though, rather than its inevitable occasional stumble. The world needs visionaries that break moulds and its genuinely inspiring, against the hum drum and mediocre, that films such as The Sky Has Fallen are brought to fruition. A powerful and resonating film that captures the honest and meticulous vision of its own inventor and investor it's a film I can truly recommend, and fully deserving of all the indie plaudits it collected - 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Plaga Zombie: Zona Mutante (Mutant Zone) - review

2001 (Argentina)

2005 Fangoria Int'l included on Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone Double Pack DVD R(1)

Contains mild spoilers.

I was rather smitten with director, writer and co-star Pablo Parés and Hernán Sáez's 1997 extremely low budget zombie original. Energetic, vibrant, imaginative Plaga Zombie, transl. Zombie Plague, overflowed with everything you'd want in in an excessive bad taste non-serious zombie spectacular, and I felt Parés and Sáez should be damned proud of their first full film. With double the budget ($3000), and with all the issues they had (it took them 4 years from starting the project to get it out with all involved saying it took its toll), could they have done it again, retaining the same frenetic pace, obvious enthusiasm and authentic delight that spilled out and into those lucky enough to watch something, shall we say, less mainstream first time round? I'll cut to the chase; yes they bloody could and it was worth the pain.

Mutant Zone not only picks the story, what there was of it, up right where things were left, but also the excessive riotous tour-de-force and non stop barrage of the most putrid, gory, juvenile, imaginative and silly zombie killing ever put on screen. Nothing has changed; nothing has calmed down. It's still prosthetic madness with models and masks, buckets of fake blood; guts and spines, limbs and heads all audaciously ripped, pulled and hewn apart at every turn. As with all good Dead Alive (BrainDead) splatter comedies it's disgusting, it's dark, but it's also so excessive, so over the top it, it all becomes a spectacle; a hyper-real parody you feel your allowed to join in with. Each more and more audaciously silly kill is the joke that keeps on giving; and this is something I feel outsiders to the genre often overlook, but one Parés and Sáez have perfected; and I don't think at any point in the film I actually stopped smiling.

What of the story? Mutant Zone doesn't take itself too, or I should say, at all seriously. There's a small daft opening bit of narrative where we learn aliens are actually behind the whole thing. That they've done a deal to experiment in one small area so as to not take over the entire world,.and our heroes from the previous film, Bill (Parés), the giant cowboy ex-wrestler John West (Berta Muñiz) and Max (Sáez) find themselves unfortunate loose threads in the conspiracy. What it means is they've been summarily thrown back into to the now quarantined town without weapons or any idea as to what's really going on, there's a lot of zombies out to get them and before the hour and half are through there will be a lot running, a lot of killing and a lot of fun, if little deep or contemplative narrative.

What stops Mutant Zone from being the one trick pony, and what ultimately keeps it from outstaying it's welcome, despite, if being critical, that it is and on paper it shouldn't, is the constant imagination. For a film that is fundamentally one long chase broken up now and again with the odd skirmish, that there isn't a single trite or obvious story decision, line of dialogue, or angle  of shot is breath-taking. Each and every extravagant, and ridiculous fight, or each moment between, is out to trick and surprise you and it's a delightful ride to sit back and enjoy being on. For Parés and Sáez nothing too is off the table, too off-the wall, or even subtle or surreal; and yet it all fits, the film is cohesive with a singular identity.

It's the same trick with the zombies. Black, white, green and blue, Plaga zombies can be any hue, any level of decay, any level of mutation and any level one of many observable behavioural patterns or any combination between. Yet they're all brought together by the same undeniable level of zany fun and comic-book look and feel where perhaps having a budget where one couldn't dictate all and every minutia actually helped. It's like the traditional zombie idiom of distinct and unique individuals becoming a homogenised one is non-applicable. Here the undead each have clear and discrete character and dare I say personality which even lends itself to how they're ultimately and individually dispatched. Later we also discover they're not perhaps as one-sidedly cannibalistic as we thought, as social aspects are offered and explored. It all makes for quite the rich tapestry and quite the out the box thinking perhaps allowed when youth and inexperience take nothing off the table.

I could wax-lyrically about Mutant Zone all day. Perhaps one the best comedy splatter zombie films ever made there is so much honesty, verve and passion on play one can't help but be swept up in it all. Parés, Muñiz and Sáez also almost make the film a buddy one with on screen relationships that feel authentic and tangible, with a depth and warmth that permeates even the coldest of hearts. So could they deliver a sequel? Could they. Plaga Zone: Mutant Zone is Plaga Zombie unleashed oozing increased confidence, greater ambition and given the means to demonstrate with a larger sandbox, more time and more resources to play with. An absolute delight from start to finish you owe it to yourself to get on-board especially with a third instalment, Plaga Zombie: Zona Mutante: Revolución Tóxica, and even fourth American Invasion, sitting in the wings - 9/10.

Steven@WTD.

Zombieworld - review

(2015 Anthology with some original content)

2010 - 2013 (USA / Spain / UK / Canada / Australia)

2015 Image Entertainment DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

Not a movie, but a collection of varied quality 2010 - 2013 zombie shorts mashed together by a rather strained news-reader narrative. Presented by Dread Central these 11 short films have nothing in common other than their gut munching brothers and sisters, so some credit should be given that there's something to tie them together at all. Also Bill Oberst Jr. as Marvin Gloatt does a half reasonable job portraying a reporter deteriorating to a zombie bite with a script almost always lacklustre and overreaching.

I've reviewed each film separately. Some are good, some are bad, most are average. As an overall product I feel hard pushed to recommend it as the great shorts can be found independently and other than Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz's audaciously excessive duo Fist of Jesus and Brutal Relax I doubt any would be watched a second time. Still promoting amateur zombie film making is something I feel should be rewarding so I'll be kind - 5/10.

Steven@WTD.

Shorts in order shown: 

Dark Times

2010 (USA) 5 mins

Rather formulaic first person shakey cam short that leaves the viewer scratching his or her head. Why were so many people near the power plant that late at night? Why doesn't he stop filming? Why is there a guy dressed as Father Christmas and why when he's a zombie does he spit his food out rather than consume it? (Ok I'm being facetious as we know the actor just didn't want any of the gut-a-likes in his mouth.)

These cohesive wrangles aside Dark Times is a reasonably competently put together little bit of apocalyptic carnage that just tries too hard to not only stop and think (see above), but too hard to cast off the derivative accusation it surely wears. I can understand writer / director's Peter Horn and Jared Marshall's fear and could even get behind some of the genre-play, especially the first person transformation, casting aside its, again, disjointed feel, but by the finale it felt they'd given up any desire to remain cohesive or consistent at all, and it suffered for it - 4/10.

Fist of Jesus

2012 (Spain) 15 mins

Okay, where to begin with the silly little gem. Blasphemous? Most definitely, though with tongue firmly in cheek and no real desire to offend ala Monty Python etc. Excessive? Off the chart with perhaps only their previous gore-fest Brutal Relax or Dead Alive (Brain Dead) coming close. Yes it's also prosthetic madness but with such little regard to reign things in, whether it's spinal cords beings ripped out or heads being popped, the comic anti-realism just adds to the insanity. Finally, any good? Yes, it's quite the riotous ride, though perhaps it does actually go on a tad too long allowing me to finally apply the phrase gore-bore; after thinking it up years ago. Another Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz must watch, but for all the wrong reasons - 7/10.

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

2010 (USA) 23 mins

Over-all a highly stylised pop-culture bit of zombie fun that manages to blend story and comical narrated instructional video cohesively and engagingly. Split into segments, something Zombieworld takes advantage of to spread it across its presentation, some are distinctly better than others and sometimes the humour misses the mark, but overall it's a highly engaging little romp. There's a play with genres from people who obviously understand post-zombie cinema and it's a recommended throwaway bit of fun - 6/10.

I am Lonely

2011 (UK) 8 Mins

A brief flirt with action quickly turns into a six minute mildly amusing, utterly throw-away one-man ramble. Chris (Matt Prendergast) spills out the annoying diatribe of self-obsessed irreverent nonsense to his dying house mate and whilst I can respect what they were trying to do it's just not all particularly funny. A tight little play; it's not bad in what it's doing; I'm just not sure why anyone would have done it in the first place - 3/10.

Dead Stop

2011 (USA) 5 mins

A great little ground zero short. Tense, gripping and dark, this to the point zombie footage-cam flit fits a lot into five minutes, even managing a pervasive hint at a larger problem. Very good and would love to have seen something bigger from director Tommy Woodard, who went on to become location manager on such series as Fear the Walking Dead, 8/10.

Home

2010 (Australia) 12 mins

A short survivalist film playing with isolation, loss and grief in the Australian Post-Apocalyptic outback. Jaimie McDowell staggers lost and confused mourning the loss of her would be husband between one gut muncher and another fully occupying the empty barren tundra. An average composition if we're honest, that even manages to drag out a bit. Moody, indulgent, and a bit up its own behind, it's still tight, well performed and shot - 4/10.

Dead Rush

2013 (Canada) c. 12 mins

A mixed bag shaky cam short from Director Zach Ramelan. Full of energy it's a wild little zombie survivor chase that's interesting and engaging yet entirely throwaway. There's a nice little twist at the end but for the most part it feels like a cheap thrown together / made up as it's going along student project, with mates acting as a favour rather than a calling - 4/10.

Teleportal

2010 (USA) 2 mins

A one gag throwaway short; but one that actually works. An idea played with in Demons 2, though reversed here; but we'll let it go, as it's so well put together, brutal, straight to the point, and delivers. A delight - 8/10.

Certified

2012 (USA) 9 mins

A delightful and charming rural 1950's zombie tale in the Creepshow / Tales from the Crypt vibe. It's postman Frank Nuttell's (Thomas Garner) first day on the job and he's soon intently embroiled in the sad tale of a young girls lost father and brother to a mining accident, and a mothers forlorn denial. Writer / director Luke Guidici's little yarn works, is well performed and delivers a great punch line which I won't spoil - 8/10.

Brutal Relax

2010 (Spain) 15 mins

Another truly eccentric zombie silly from Adrián Cardona and David Muñoz. A silly a show-case for excessive violence, it's audaciously over the top and really if we're all honest, just an excuse to fit as much gut ripping, bone splintering, head exploding and blood spilling nonsense into fifteen minutes as possible. Also if we're honest, I'm only reviewing this as it appeared on Zombieworld as I don't think the sea-lizard-creatures from the black lagoon are actually remotely zombie. Still, it's breath-taking relentless fun, and doesn't quite get as gore-tedious as their subsequent Fist of Jesus; also José María Angorrilla provides a lead role performance I'll never forget - 8/10.

Marathon Apocalypse

2013 (Canada) 2 mins

Entirely throwaway short zombie chase, followed by nice clean CG narrated zombie global pandemic intro video. A promotional video for the Montreal zombie run event, it did its job, but is entirely too lightweight as an entity in its own right to really pass any kind of meaningful judgement; still, it is quite a nice atmospheric 30 second chase - 4/10.

The Last Days on Mars - review

2013 (UK / Ireland)

2014 Universal Pictures UK Blu-ray R(All)

Contains spoilers.

That escalated quickly. One minute there's a tight soap-opera, with space weary astronauts and scientists, anxiously and frustratingly riling each other as they prepare for their long haul back to Earth, knowing they've been unsuccessful in their mission to find life on the red planet. The next, there's a crazed homicidal zombie battering the airlock with his gaunt black skinned face hell bent on death, carnage and really spoiling the going away party. And that's the thing. As much as I enjoyed début director Ruairi Robinson's claustrophobic little zombie survival story there's just not enough subtlety and nuance to proceedings. The result, while competently put together with a strong narrative and its solid cast, is never more than its constituent parts; it's all rather bland and safe, and it's a bit of a pity.

Their timing is atrocious. Okay they would be arriving back at Earth without plaudits, their mission deemed a failure, with a new crew already well on the way to scientific immortality, but one more day, nineteen hours to be precise, to stay out of trouble and they'd still be alive. We've watched enough horrors by now though to know it only takes a little over-extending, a small bending of the rules and a tiny bit of deceit by one self-centred idiot to put in motion a series of events that leaves most, if not all, others in a world of pain. And in The Last Days on Mars it's Marko Petrovic (Goran Kostic) the eight person crew has to thank, who on the eve of evacuation decides he'll break protocol and lie to take one final trip out to a site he believes may contain fossilized evidence of bacterial life; though instead of bringing him fame and fortune, it brings him a bad fall and a nasty case of dead and zombie.

The action is gripping, the effects lavish and production polished it's just the ensuing hour of good quality zombie shenanigans is rather formulaic and by the number. A fight here, a siege there, another fight here, a bit of betrayal and a last ditch plan to survive it's good manic fun but just all a bit derivative and predictable. It's also all rather in your face with little play with suspense or ambiguity. Marko lies dead in an alien pit, Lauren Dalby (Yusra Warsama) is left alone to stand guard while the rest of the crew lead by Charles Brunel (Elias Koteas) go get the body-in-alien-fungus-hole-retrieval-kit. On returning they're gone but there's some obvious tracks leading back to the base, which the film cuts to just in time to see them arrive, in full-on no-nonsense zombie siege mode. There's really no pause for breath, no time to gather thoughts, establish motivations, build tension. They arrive, they get in, they start bashing heads and drilling stomachs and we're expected to go along with it all.

There's no mention of zombies on the box and it could easily have been a film I overlooked, but it's as zombie as you can get. The black veined oxygen deprived gut munchers are very much dead in the human sense with total loss of self and identity. They're highly infectious, they're driven with an insatiable hunger to kill, and possibly eat their victims and they really look the part, though with a c. $7m budget I'd expect them too. It's the alien bacteria that's responsible for all the trouble and the film adheres to the tried and tested trope that dictates blood exposure to lead to slow painful death then death to zombie, and there's not much in the way of dubiousness. Though for mindless homicidal brutes they're pretty nifty with all the tools, machinery and explosives they use to use, which maybe opens some coherency issues, but really it just cements their credentials as 'A' tier zombie bad assess one should not want to trifle with.

The Last Days on Mars is a solid action oriented space horror that doesn't really do much wrong other than not dare to be a more intelligent and passionate. With little emotional depth to the characters and some rather sombre performances the atmosphere of peril and dread you feel should be pervasive and consuming fails to appear, and the pain, anguish and ultimate deaths of the crew fail to carry much weight. This is no more exemplified than with star of the show Liev Schreiber as Vincent Campbell, hero and lone survivor, and the deliberately left-open final life and death scene, and my genuine lack of concern and enthusiasm towards its outcome.

With fighting scenes that are nicely choreographed and look great there's a simple uncompromising action horror here that will entertain, and Mars does make a beautiful back drop for full on zombie fun; it's just, like the red planet itself, lacking in atmosphere, and all rather flat and lifeless - 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Night of the Creeps - review

1986 (USA)

2009 Sony Pictures Blu-ray R(All)

Contains spoilers.

Now I need to be a bit careful with this one as I believe Fred Dekker's Night of the Creeps is a bit of a fan favourite and I'm aware many people hold the horror-comedy b-movie close to their denim clad hearts. But here's the problem. I'm a Night of the Creeps newcomer and not swathed in nostalgia. I've jaded forty year old eyes and I've now seen my fair share of zom-rom-coms; I don't have that sweaty adolescent sentimentality to keep me going between people dying and heads 'sploding. Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to; the point I'm dallying around, is though Night of the Creeps is good, I mean I did just say heads 'sploding, it's just maybe not quite as good for us, as those who watched it some 28 years ago without their parents knowing.

Things start absurdly and b-movie brilliantly, with weird looking giant Dr Who inspired 80's space slugs battling it out and a particularly grumpy looking one blasting what we learn to be a parasitic space slug to Earth against the others wishes. It's 1959, we know this because things are black and white, and investigating the shooting star that's landed, a young confident college boy out with his date ignores the warnings of an axe murderer escaped from the local mental institute gets her violently dismembered and himself infected and cryogenically frozen. As I said brilliant stuff.

Then it all goes a bit 80s and brat pack with J.C. During (Steve Marshall) trying to win Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow) as a date for nerd friend and roommate Chris Romero (Jason Lively); yes I did spot the names. With the only obstacle to their success, obviously, admittance to the most popular fraternity J.C. and Chris agree to break into the university medical centre and steal a highly experimental corpse, which just conveniently happens to be said cryogenically frozen bug hibernator from 1959. Of course they conveniently manage to defrost him, he conveniently happens to be not well guarded, and it conveniently starts a rather nasty series of events that soon spiral out of control.

It's b-movie parody, it's funny, it's well directed and well fleshed out with a preposterous narrative that sways from semi-coherent eighties teen angst movie to The Return of the Living Dead and over the top horror like a metronome on amphetamines. One minute it's geeky guys trying to get a prom date or hitting each other with pillows, the next it's audaciously absurd space aliens shooting one another with ray guns or twenty-seven year old axe murdering corpses up having a second swing at it. What should be a little disconcerting does actually work though creating that b-movie duality where there's the normal world where people worry about their hair and their dates, when all the while we really know there's a second reality only a block away holding an axe and full of alien space worms. My one small gripe was some of the more excessive contrived convenience, which even though I know is part of the b-movie charm, came across as a little too forced. It's one thing to learn that fire is the thing that can kill the little space leeches, it's another to just happen across a box of matches on the floor of your toilet cubicle lighting the last one at just the right moment as one rushes over to its flammable end.

You just can't beat a good old alien brain parasite; well you could with a fiery stick, but there's just something about scurrying little black super slugs with the singular intent to zoom up trouser legs,  throw themselves into open mouths and take over brains, that makes me smile. Why do they want to do it / what's their motive? No idea though I guess the usual world subjugation. All I know is, once in place it's zombie time, staggering about looking for someone new to explode their head in the direction of. I keep saying exploding heads; whether cat, dog, recently deceased or long decayed it would appear they use the brain as some kind of incubation chamber with which to breed (asexually?), then assume control of the host body before popping the noggin wide open to great cinematic applause to fire new space slugs at any new hosts that might be dumb enough to have their mouths open. By this point it's really all over for the hosts, the best they can hope for some sympathetic soul putting a stop to it all with a one, two, blast to the head, heavy duty incineration of the little critters hiding inside.

I've moaned a lot that it's not perhaps grade A eighties schlock horror but in truth it's not far off. Dekker has fashioned a competent cohesive b-movie wannabe that entertains and shocks nicely and equally and flows by to a satisfactory conclusion. Exploding head, alien parasite zombies were never going to disappoint and honestly one could never get bored watching them pop. Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) who I've not mentioned so far is the undoubted star of the show, with one-liners and a personality that rivals even Sir Bruce Campbell in its dry delivery and inventive punch. A fun entertaining little ride with some truly outstanding scenes, but as a whole, one that maybe hasn't aged quite as well as some might have us believe. It's never going to be my favourite eighties horror spoof but thrill me, it did, 7/10.

Steven@WTD.

Lifeforce - review

1985 (USA)

2013 Arrow Video Blu-ray R(B/2)

Contains spoilers.

This was another one that wasn't really on my radar. It was only seeing it chosen by Dominic Brunt (Director of Before Dawn) as one of the headlines for the 2014 Leeds Zombie Film Festival that put it on. Having now watched it I'm still a tad uncertain. Sure the final fifteen minutes, depicting a ravaged London overrun with snarling cannibalistic monsters is zombie all the way and the victims of the space vampires are for the most part unwitting slaves incapable of imposing their own will on their actions. But, it's energy vampires. Both Col. Tom Carlsen (Steve Railsback), the only survivor of the ill-fated deep space explorer and Dr. Bukovsky (Michael Gothard) chief medical scientist of the European Space Agency and Thanatologist (the study of death) say so, and it is really all about three intelligent bat like creatures camouflaged as pretty wee things who are sat at the top of the food chain.

The first fifteen minutes or so are pure eighties space indulgence. The HMS Churchill out in the deep beyond on a mission to explore Halley's Comet discovers a hundred and fifty mile ancient space relic in its tip. Inside as well as the desiccated remnants of hundreds of human size space bats they find three perfectly preserved and perfectly naked humans caught in some kind of suspended animation and decide to bring them back on board.

The lead naked, and that's a word I'll be saying a lot, space person, is played by Mathilda May and as I'm watching the splendid new Arrow Blu-ray transfer of the original 116 minute cut, which is fifteen minutes longer than the theatrical cut the US audience had to watch there's an awful lot of it; not that I'm complaining. Brought back to Earth by the US Columbia which finds the HMS Churchill gutted and burnt out and the crew dead, it doesn't take long for those investigating the disaster to realise it might have something to do with honey lips and perhaps they're in a spot of trouble. Finally alone with a young doctor sparks fly, both metaphorically as lips meet lips, and literally  her first victim has his lifeforce zapped out of him before moving, naked, through the complex like an electric maelstrom escaping out into the wider world.

The young naked space girl with ulterior motives beguiling poor innocent men who just can't say no when presented with a willing bosom is a trope that's been done to death. It's a good, neigh, great excuse to show copious flesh with a semi-legitimate excuse, though in this case I'm not quite sure whether to applaud director Tobe Hooper or not, for the audaciously long time it takes for him to decide she should cover up. While Lifeforce doesn't go down the Species road making this trope the be all and end all of the film it does make up a large part of the story, and to be honest when if does decide to stray playing with alien possession it does unravel a little becoming unnecessarily convoluted and complicated, almost making one think it might have been better if they had.

There's a lot going on with the space vampires and while it's possibly all a bit over contrived it's fun, thought out and for the most part cohesive. They're energy vampires capable of draining the lifeforce from people. They can beguile people, making them fall so deeply in love, both spiritually and sexually, that they can't resist and they can also transfer their consciousness / soul / being into another person assuming motor control and suppressing the host's will. Also while they don't always drain all the lifeforce from a person when they do, leaving them a dehydrated lifeless husk, they do also leave a nasty surprise.

Two hours is the magic number in several ways. Firstly it's a two hour alarm call that springs the mini-vamps / zompires back to life, pulse racing with an insatiable hunger for some lifeforce of their own, else they'll explode. Secondly should they drain the next victim before they pop, they've only another two hours until they need to feed again. This idea of brainless primal hunger, the constant need to feed and the exponential spread of the disease is zombie all the way. These zompires, especially during the last fifteen or so minutes certainly look the part snarling goring their way through the streets of London and the effect as they leap on cars and chase the view remaining survivors also certainly looks zombie and they're a good enough fit in my mind. And let's not forget writer Dan O'Bannon's next film was The Return of the Living Dead, so this is a man well versed in the genre.

A solid script if a little convoluted and farcical, Lifeforce is a good film though not a great one and for such an over the top premise I felt it perhaps played it all a little safe. Peter Firth leads a strong cast who do well with what they've been given, and one can't help watch Patrick Stewart being wrestled to the floor and later orally explode with blood, without a wry smile. The pacing is good for a long film, and there's never a dull moment but it just as we too were coming near  the two hour mark and the finale, I felt it just hadn't elevated my heart rate to the to the same level as those on screen. A fun hokey sci-fi, tame-horror with a lot of nakedness that will leave a smile on your face, if nothing more, 6/10.

Steven@WTD.

Plan 9 From Outer Space - review

1959 (USA)

2012 Legend Film Blu-ray R(All)

Contains mild spoilers.

Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space comes with such a weight of nostalgia / infamy / reputation and anti-hype to really be above objective criticism. There's no doubting it's a bad film; a truly awful cinematic experience that deservedly languished in obscurity for two decades before being thrown once more into the limelight in 1980 when Michael Medved and Harry Medved happened to champion it as the worse film ever made. Overnight its mediocrity became something to celebrate and it became more than just a film, more than the sum of its parts; and possibly forever un-reviewable in any normative way.

As the subject of in-depth cinematic analysis, and even a fantastic film directed by Tim Burton, I can only repeat what a thousand other reviewers have said. The acting, the dialogue, the special effects, the story, the way in which it's all so haphazardly thrown together in the most amateurish and insulting to the viewer manner it's easily, as a film, as bad as made out. Yet as an entertaining spectacle to watch with friends these very qualities make it highly watch-able and dare I say it, delightfully light and somewhat self-satirical. Whether consciously, subconsciously or most likely neither, Ed Wood has somehow fashioned a parody of all things 1950s sci-fi, Mccarthyism and b-movie and it's genuinely hard to believe he and all those involved didn't know precisely what they were doing and weren't in on the joke.

Some very human looking aliens who travel the cosmos in awkward looking spinning silver saucers have focused their attention on us Earth folk believing they need to interfere in our affairs before we harness the power of sunlight and create doomsday weaponry that could destroy the entire universe. Having being spurned by Earth authorities (I'm guessing 8 times) their Ruler (John Breckinridge) has agreed to Plan 9; a last ditch and somewhat slightly more aggressive approach that entails resurrecting the Earth's dead and having them march on the worlds capitals.

There are three zombies. The first, in the credits as Vampire Girl Vampira, (Maila Nurmi) is a long nailed Elvira-esque goth. The second, her grieving, much older husband who passed away a day later, is both the same repeated stock footage of Bela Legosi (taken from some filming he'd done three years earlier on a different project) or Tom Mason, who was uncredited and spends the entire film with a black cape draped across his face. The third, and most interesting where we're concerned is the late Inspector Dan Clay (Tor Johnson), a towering brute of a man who stomps and staggers around, arms out stretched, eyes vacant with all the hallmarks of the voodoo zombies of stage and screen from the previous forty years, yet a full five before Richard Matheson removed religion from the pot. Before I give Ed Wood too much credit in the zombie story though, in truth it's perhaps more Frankenstein, than instinctual, soul-depleted Romero gut munchers. Still, credit where credit is due; there is a whack to the head at one point and while they are under ray gun control (which is never really explained) there is a moment the gun fails and the zombie, just for a moment does act a bit dangerously out of control.

The epitome of bad b-movie film making. A paranoid rambling incoherent shambles of a film it's watchable precisely because one is always fascinated by the car-crash. As a film it's utter garbage, a 1/10, yet as an experience it's highly agreeable and worthy of 7 or 8/10. Part of the zombie story? Undoubtedly and perhaps not given as much credit as it's due. Final thoughts? Bafflingly brilliant, captivatingly bonkers and cinematically special, Plan 9 From Outer Space is a bad film but perhaps not the worst I've reviewed. Put up against such drivel as KFZ or many of the Asylum's attempts it's at least earnest, honest and most importantly entertaining. Ed Wood was hack but he was keen and invested in what he was doing, and people are still watching his films some sixty years on which I'll wager we won't be doing in their case. "Future events such as these will affect you in the future", indeed; 8/10.

I actually watched a restored HD and colourised version of this film which I'm not sure was necessarily the best way to fully immerse myself. Still, it was clean, crisp and didn't look as dated as it is. I'll note, the Blu-ray is region free too.

Steven@WTD.

Slither - review

2006 (Canada / USA)

2006 Eiv DVD R(2)

Contains mild spoilers.

Alien Parasites. They're nothing new to the zombie myth and I've reviewed my fair share of films that saw little grubby predators weasel their way into the living and dead to take control. I'll admit though to always feeling a little wary when it comes to little green, err, things infiltrating and mimicking the native population, while all the while working towards the ultimate goal of global dominion. I mean, where the parasites take control of cadavers it's easy to shout zombie; they're reanimated dead and they look the part. What about when the hosts are still alive with their pre-parasitical personality suppressed or even joined with? What if the parasite has introduced a new uncontrollable desire or drive like sex (procreation) or hunger (survival); does an insatiable all-consuming addiction constitute enough of a loss of self, will, ego, being to semantically at least proffer the idea of zombie?

Director James Gunn's horror / comedy / alien parasites land on earth and look to take over zombie flick Slither both tasks me to ask this question while at the same time lets me off the hook completely. Three quarters of the way through the film after watching the very foreign parasite take its first victim, the town big shot Grantford Grant (the brilliant Michael Rooker), successfully find a mate and procreate with Brendalynne Gutierrez (Brenda James) and finally look to step things up spewing thousands of slug like throat guzzling parasitical spermatozoon on the world, Slither did the decent thing and allowed the hosts to die first. The resulting dead controlled by the will of the shared single conscious alien super disease are as close to the modern zombie as one is likely to get; their old selves, other than perhaps access from the new host to memories, are gone; they stumble about like something from a Romero film and they like to feast on flesh.

Slither lists itself as a horror comedy but I always felt the tension, gore and scares outweighed any desire for outright laughter. Ok, alien parasitical take over stories are out there and the film is chock full of audaciously brilliant set pieces that could certainly be seen as uncomfortably funny but there's no throw-away gags or cheap easy farce. The film takes its subject matter seriously but isn't afraid to be playful in a non detrimental way to the core story and atmosphere and it works brilliantly. Nathan Fillon as town sheriff Bill Pardy is the dry wit and hero of the film and arguably does have the lions share of one line quips but again they're never out of place or jarring; in many ways he's the Indiana Jones or Han Solo lightening the mood now and again but never at any expense.

The film has a comfortable cohesiveness, a singular vision, and flows with an effortlessness that signifies a cast and crew who were not only professionally invested but were actively enjoying the ride. All the sequences work, there's no dead dialogue or scenes and all the themes played with work; Gunn has cut and shot the film to perfection. Pacing is on point and the climax is satisfying and not drawn out and even though the central idea of the film is ludicrous it somehow manages to avoid any thoughts that it might be; it's a clever trick and shows it knows what it's doing.

As to the earlier question of whether the increasingly 'alien' but alive Grantford Grant is a zombie I'm happy to leave it up in the air. He's definitely had his self repressed but there's definitely a bit of the old person still there. It's all deliberately vague and disturbing, hinting at a precariously easy malleableness to a definition of self we consider so resolute and absolute. Also, if I start at this juncture including alien possessed films where do I stop? Species and The Thing are obvious starters, but I'd soon move on to any and all films that had someone temporarily possessed by someone / thing else and I'm not sure I'm ready to throw Wrath of Khan with Chekov and Terrell succumbing to Khan's indigenous eels into the mix just yet.

Slither is a triumphant alien parasite spectacular with first rate acting, a tight on point story that never languishes and lavish over the top special effects that manage to avoid ever degrading to farce. I'll admit to enjoying this far more than I expected and I was surprised I'd no memories of ever watching it before which is odd as it's the sort of thing I would have actively sought out. An alien parasite film, with tenderness, scares, laughter and zombies, this is definitely an extra-terrestrial recommendation, 8/10.

Steven@WTD.

Die You Zombie Bastards! - review

2005 (USA)

2007 Odeon DVD R(2)

Contains spoilers.

I can't deny this goofy over the top surreal zombie comedy didn't have its moments and maybe I just wasn't quite in the mood for an hour and forty minutes of non stop cheap and trashy wacky toilet and prosthetic penis humour, but all in all I came away feeling a bit tired and bored. I also came away thinking it felt very much like a Troma production, gaudy, excessive and camp, but, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, somehow lacking the same finesse and polish.

Director Caleb Emerson has unquestionably put together something unique and out there, it's just by trying to instil every line and every moment with his bizarre warped humour it feels all a bit too busy, a bit too full on. There's never a moment for the audience to take a breath; it's constant full on and in your face from the first second to the last whether that particular joke is necessary or that funny.

Red (Tim Gerstmar) the hero, enjoying a picnic with his wife Violet (Pippi Zornoza) dashes home to pick up a bottle of forgotten champagne only to return to find she's been kidnapped by Baron Voklauf mummyhead von Nefarious the third (Geoff Mosher) who has fallen in love with her. Die You Zombie Bastards! takes the kitchen sink approach to narrative and story. Red is of course also a serial killing cannibal and the picnic was of course a fresh human head. Violet is in on the cannibalism and likes nothing more than to fashion clothing from the body parts and skin Red brings home. To finish off, Nefarious is a wretched looking dark shadowy figure hiding out on Hell Island with a master plan to turn the planets population into green-goblin like zombies with his Enormo-Zombotron adapted from technology he salvaged from an alien vessel that crash landed years earlier.

In order to rescue his beloved, Red begins a road trip to a visit a series of narratively unrelated, yet increasingly surreal and bizarre people who recount loud silly stories before telling him who to go to next. CoconutHeadFaceMan, a village with no men and a cheese-fondue throwing demon,  Hasil Adkins, an Appalachian country, rock and roll, and blues musician, as himself who gets him to drink beer and do press-ups; his journey is daft, it's cheesy, it's not without it's charm but it's very busy, totally rambling and dare I say, all a bit tedious. Now I'm a big fan of surreal humour and daft and silly for no reason other than being daft and silly, but when it's so constant and unremitting the jokes all end up coming across a bit flat. It's Morecambe without Wise, the funny without the straight; or in this case the absurd and surreal with any normality to contrast and play off.

There's a back story where a race of aliens called the warlords enslaved a far away world turning the adults all into zombie slaves and eating all the children. One such alien craft crashed on Hell Island and was found by Baron Nefarious, who adapted the technology to build his first Zombotron which with a flick of the switch and a flash of green he can use to instantly turn people into zombies. All the special effects, prosthetics, models and costumes are deliberately, I hope, excruciatingly poor. Green body suits, glaringly obvious face masks with large holes cut out for the eyes, and painted on nipples for three topless zombie girls he turns early on in the film is the full extent of the zombie make-up. They look crap and they act crap prancing and jumping about like goblins crossed with orang-utans, and that's it really.

The acting from the main three is deliberately b-movie, camp and cheesy but it's strong and confident. The background girls in it to remove their shirts and the zombie slaves all play their roles as one would expect given it's z-movie desires. Taste and decency have also been thrown at the window, with more prosthetic penis scenes than I think I've seen before and quite the bit of excessive blood and gore all done gratuitously without a care what boundaries they may be crossing. It's definitely one area the film succeeds in and provides for quite some memorable images, the cannibal picnic being my personal pick.

Cheap, trashy, noisy; Die You Zombie Bastards! is a bit of a mixed bag. With many hilarious scenes, but it's just all too forced, just trying too hard to maintain a constant ridiculously high level of insanity. If they'd just reined it in a bit, taken out some of the jokes that maybe weren't quite as funny as they thought, the humour that undoubtedly does work would be allowed to shine. 

Relentless action, relentless humour, snappy disruptive camera work, gratuitous and exploitative gore and nudity and loud in your face soundtrack; it's a busy explosion of a film with many good ideas. If a film could be described as having ADHD though, this would be it; someone should have stepped in, perhaps with medication and just told it to calm the fuck down, and then perhaps it would have all felt a bit more natural and at ease with itself. It's definitely a unique experience and not without merits, it's just you should probably take some aspirin and be prepared for a lie down when it's over, 4/10.

Steven@WTD.

Plaga Zombie - review

1997 (Argentina)

2005 Fangoria Int'l included on Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone Double Pack DVD R(1)

Contains mild spoilers.

Plaga Zombie, translated, Zombie Plague, is a quite frankly atrocious, amateurish, over-the-top Dead Alive (Braindead) want-to-be made by some punk-ass Argentinian kids who look like they just wanted to hang out with their mates and see how far they could push the boundaries of taste and decency. It also goes to show what can be achieved with passion, ingenuity and unquestionable ability as, for a film that purports to have been made for just $120, it's audaciously breathtaking, vibrant and quite brilliant, putting to shame a lot of films with hundred times the budget.

Directed by Pablo Parés and Hernán Sáez Plaga Zombie is a goof-ball horror comedy of the highest order. Aliens beginning their attack on humanity are possessing and abducting people, inserting parasitical hosts then dropping them back off to die, reanimate and kill anyone they come across. Mike (Walter Cornás) is the first to turn and with his room mate Bill (also Pablo Parés) a medical student trying to diagnose his rapid onset of exploding pustules and sores the two are joined by John West (Berta Muñiz) a currently out of work amateur wrestler and his ex-partner, and manager Willie Boxer (Diego Parés) who is showing the same symptoms. Plaga Zombie doesn't like to amble so the two soon turn and the carnage, killing and extensive gratuitous vomit, blood and gore start to flow.

The best way to describe the bizarre alien parasitically possessed zombies of Plaga Zombies is to take the traditional 80s Romero shuffling walking dead, throw all hues of garish multi-coloured paints over them and have them act with all the playful sadistic mischievousness of the Gremlins from the film of their namesake. They're like a pack of rabid bloodthirsty m&ms; there's blue ones, green ones, red and yellow ones, their look and feel is cheap, chintzy, artificial and in excess they're violently sickening. Whether they're playing poker, phoning for pizza, or vomiting in a victims mouths they're very much the vehicle for the next original sick joke or wantonly gratuitous exploitation. They're appearance and behaviour perfectly mirrors the absurdity and excesses of the story, the development of the characters and the acting.

There isn't much to say about the story. It's goofy, daft and speeds along at a truly break-neck pace. Willie and Mike are joined by a motley assortment of additional alien zombie critters who take over his little suburban house and it becomes very much an us vs. them madcap battle of survival. John West rediscovers his spandex wearing wrestling heritage, Bill deduces they're dead and a good way to dispatch the host is with acid, which he conveniently just happens to the necessary ingredients for, and they decide to tackle a zombie horde that seems very much happy to just goof about and have the fight come to them. Cue lots of blood, lots of gore and lots of highly original, and audaciously over the top zombie dispatching including the obligatory chainsaw (actually it looked like a hedge trimmer) and lawn mower. Like I said, it's taken its inspiration from Dead Alive and Evil Dead is more than happy to turn the dial to 11 and leave it there for long sequences of the most ludicrous, slapstick, farcical gore and carnage and they're willing to try anything if it looks sufficiently gruesome and can get a laugh.

For $120 everyone should involved with costumes, effects and makeup should be given a gold star. The nature of the feature, and a frankly very poor film quality, allows the Parés and Sáez a certain leeway but the effects, gore and prosthetics are more than competent, oozing with bizarre undead alien style, and always with just the right side of hyper-realistic in the best tradition of the genre. The soundtrack could be lifted straight from Dead Alive but it worked there and I'll cut the guy some slack.

Like Peter Jackson, Parés and Sáez have a real eye for making the excessive and obscene farcical and fun so that the audience feels in on the joke and not sickened by sadistic indulgence. Full of imagination and energy Plaga Zombie is a delight to watch, the action carries the story and acting but does so with gusto and flare and for such a small budget, and obviously filmed with what equipment they could get their hands on, the result are coherent and Parés and Sáez, for new directors capture the daftness with style, skill and many moments of inventive flair. Plaga Zombie is not going to win any awards but look past the poor film capture there's a zany classic for those that want more over the top horror comedy and more films that understand what it means to use truly excessive quantities of blood. I've come away genuinely wanting to see what these guys could do with slightly more money; which is fortunate as my disc came with their second foray, Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone, recommended, 7/10.

Steven@WTD.